The Origin Story (Ape-stract Art)
Bred by Mycotek in the late 2010s, when every grower and their mother was chasing the next Gorilla pheno. They basically took Original Glue, hit copy-paste three times, and said "voilà—evolution." The result? A commercially bulletproof plant that laughs at powdery mildew while pumping out trichomes like it's getting paid overtime.
Effects: From Planet of the Apes to Planet of the Naps
Starts with a cheeky sativa jab to the frontal lobe—suddenly you're convinced you can speak fluent chimp. Twenty minutes later the indica gorilla dropkicks you into the nearest soft surface. Expect uncontrollable giggles, mild existential revelations about bananas, and a 73% chance you'll rewatch nature documentaries on mute with a Tame Impala soundtrack.
Flavor & Aroma: Diesel-Soaked Chocolate Rainforest
Imagine if a gas station had a baby with a Hershey's factory and that baby was raised by pine trees. Dominant notes of solvent, dark chocolate, and what can only be described as "wet forest floor after a diesel truck orgy." The exhale leaves a chem film on your tongue so thick you'll swear you could strip paint with it.
Growing: Even Your Neighbor's Brown Thumb Could Do It
Flowers in 60-70 days with the vigor of a toddler on espresso. Stretches 1.5-2x after flip, stacking golf-ball nugs that look like they were rolled in confectioner's sugar. Handles heavy feeding like a champ—she'll basically eat whatever you throw at her and ask for seconds. Yields range from "respectable" to "holy shit did you rob a dispensary?"
Medical Uses (Beyond Getting Stoned-icated)
Patients report it's great for turning anxiety into mild confusion, pain into "what was I complaining about again?", and insomnia into a 12-hour hibernation. Side effects may include forgetting where you put your phone while actively holding it and developing strong opinions about primate social structures.
Who Should Smoke This
Perfect for anyone who thinks regular Gorilla Glue was "too mellow." Ideal for experienced stoners who want to explore the upper atmosphere without a spaceship, or medical users who need their body to STFU for a few hours. Not recommended for first-timers, people with important emails to write, or anyone who needs to remember their own name.
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