Animal Pie

Overview

Imagine if a pastry chef and a mechanic had a baby, and that baby grew up to be weed. Animal Pie is In House Genetics' attempt to turn your munchies into the actual weed. Bred from the same folks who brought you Slurricane, this strain is basically dessert that gets you baked—literally. It's so frosty it looks like it got into a fight with a powdered sugar factory and won.

Effects

Expect a cerebral rush that feels like your brain just did a line of Pixy Stix—followed by a body melt that turns you into a human lava cake. The 25% THC hits like a sugar crash from hell, except you're giggling about it. Great for pretending to be productive while actually just reorganizing your snack drawer by color.

Flavor & Aroma

Smells like someone set a cherry pie on fire in a gas station parking lot. Tastes like sweet dough and regret, with hints of pepper and that "I shouldn't have eaten the whole thing" feeling. The terpene profile is basically a pastry chef's fever dream—sweet, spicy, and chemically in all the right ways.

Growing

If you can keep your grow room cooler than your ex's heart, you'll get those Instagram-worthy purple hues. Grows like a cookie strain on steroids—expect 1.5-2x stretch and enough resin to wax your car. Only 5-15% of phenos are "keeper" quality, so prepare to kill a lot of babies for that one perfect Instagram mom.

Medical Uses

Perfect for treating the existential dread of realizing you ate an entire pie while high. Great for stress, anxiety, and the medical condition known as "my back hurts from couch-lock." May cause acute episodes of snack hunting and deep philosophical conversations about why pie crust is superior to cake.

Who It's For

Designed for connoisseurs who post more bud pics than food pics, and hash makers who measure their worth in micron bags. Not for beginners unless you enjoy greening out face-first in a cheesecake. Ideal for people who think "dessert strain" should actually taste like dessert, not disappointment.