Apes In Space

In A Nutshell

Picture a 400-pound silverback gorilla doing a spacewalk—that's your brain on Apes In Space. Bred by the mad scientists at Exotic Genetix as their answer to "What if couch-lock came with a NASA mission patch?" This 100% indica doesn't just knock you out; it performs a full orbital insertion into your furniture.

Effects: From Planet Earth to Planet Nope

Twenty minutes in, you'll understand why they call it "space." Your body achieves perfect weightlessness while your mind conducts important research on why pizza rolls are the perfect space food. The 20% THC hits like a meteor shower—first comes the cerebral tingle, then the full-body gravity malfunction. Pro tip: schedule your launch for somewhere with snacks within horizontal reach.

Flavor Profile: Earthy With Notes of "Houston, We Have a Problem"

Crack open these dense purple nugs and you're greeted by a funk that smells like someone blended a forest floor with orange Tang. The smoke delivers earthy base notes with spicy citrus uppercuts that'll make your taste buds question their life choices. It's like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth, but in the best possible way.

Growing: Easier Than Training a Real Space Ape

This strain is basically the cannabis equivalent of a honey badger—it just doesn't give a damn. With 70-80% of growers reporting it shrugs off pests like they're paparazzi, Apes In Space is perfect for beginners who want professional-grade results without the drama. Expect yields that'll make your dealer think you've started a grow operation (because you have).

Medical Applications: Prescription Strength Hibernation

Doctors hate this one trick for turning chronic pain into chronic naps. Perfect for insomnia, anxiety, and that condition where your brain won't shut up about that embarrassing thing you did in 2009. Just remember: this is not the strain for "I'll just take one hit before work." Unless your work involves testing mattresses.

Who Should Smoke This

Ideal for people whose spirit animal is a sloth on Ambien. If your weekend plans include "aggressive nothing" and you've already accepted that your couch is now your forever home, welcome aboard. Not recommended for people with actual responsibilities or anyone who needs to operate heavy machinery—like a TV remote.