Apollo 13

Mission Control Overview

NorStar's Apollo 13 is the cannabis equivalent of a SpaceX launch that lands in your living room. Marketed as sativa, it grows like an indica, hits like a hybrid, and finishes flowering in 8-9 weeks because even plants have ADHD now. The buds are dense enough to use as paperweights, coated in trichomes that look like they were applied by an overenthusiastic kindergarten glitter project.

This isn't your older brother's Apollo 13—TGA's version was more "Houston, we have liftoff," while NorStar's is more "Houston, we have snacks and blankets." The indica genetics dominate so hard that the plant practically grows in a beanbag chair formation.

Effects: Houston, We Have Couch-Lock

At 18-24% THC, this strain will absolutely send you to space—just not the active, productive kind. Expect a body high that feels like you're wearing a weighted blanket made of marshmallows, while your mind remains just alert enough to contemplate ordering pizza. It's the perfect strain for pretending to be productive while actually watching three seasons of a cooking show you've already seen.

The "balanced" effect basically means you can still answer your phone, but you'll sound like you're underwater. Great for afternoon use if your afternoon plans involve horizontal activities and deep thoughts about whether fish have nightmares.

Flavor & Aroma: Pine-Sol Meets Orange Julius

The terpene profile is a confused citrus-pine cocktail that smells like someone cleaned a Christmas tree with orange-scented cleaner. Myrcene and caryophyllene dominate, creating an aroma that's simultaneously fresh and suspicious—like a car air freshener that's trying too hard. The taste follows suit: imagine licking a pine cone that's been dipped in orange marmalade and sprinkled with good intentions.

Break open a nug and your entire room smells like a forest had a passionate affair with a citrus grove. Your neighbors will either think you're Christmas shopping or starting a cleaning business.

Growing: Space-Saver Closet Edition

This strain is basically the studio apartment of cannabis plants—compact, efficient, and somehow still overpriced. It stays short and bushy, making it perfect for growers who failed geometry but still want maximum yield. The clone-friendly growth habits mean even your blackest-thumb friend can propagate it, probably while claiming they invented a new growing technique.

Expect predictable, manageable growth that won't outgrow your closet unless you really, really screw up. It's the plant equivalent of that friend who always shows up on time and brings snacks—reliable, compact, and weirdly generous with resin production.

Medical Applications: Anxiety's Chill Cousin

Patients report this strain is excellent for anxiety, stress, and the overwhelming urge to do anything productive. It's particularly effective for those whose pain responds well to not moving for extended periods. The body-forward effects make it popular among people whose backs hurt from pretending to have good posture all day.

Perfect for medical users who want relief without feeling like they're mainlining espresso. Side effects may include profound thoughts about the nature of blankets and an inexplicable craving for foods that combine sweet and salty in morally questionable ways.

Who It's For: Professional Chillers Only

This strain is for the sophisticated stoner who owns multiple blankets and isn't afraid to use them. It's ideal for creative types who do their best work horizontally, gamers who need to stay alert enough to remember which button jumps, and anyone who's ever used "research" as an excuse to watch documentaries about ancient aliens.

Not recommended for people with actual responsibilities, anyone who needs to operate heavy machinery (including can openers), or those who think "productive high" is a real thing. If your idea of a good time involves your couch, snacks, and contemplating whether plants know they're being watched, welcome home.