An Origin Story Told by Stoned Historians
Pyramid Seeds cooked this up by mixing ruderalis, indica, and sativa like a genetic smoothie. The result? A plant so eager to flower it doesn't even wait for your grow lights to flip—it just starts blooming like it's late for a Tinder date. Since launch it's become the Toyota Corolla of autos: reliable, everywhere, and surprisingly quick.
Effects: Half Desert Mirage, Half Couch Sphinx
Expect a balanced high that starts with a creative buzz (good for finally finishing that macramé UFO) before the indica kicks in and turns you into a human paperweight. Users report 62% felt both stimulated and sedated—like jogging in a weighted blanket. Novices: clear your schedule; veterans: clear your fridge.
Flavor & Aroma: Pine-Forest Air Freshener Meets Skunk's Day Off
Smells like someone spilled Earl Grey in a pine forest, then let a skunk finish the job. Taste follows suit with spicy-earth notes and a citrus chaser that lingers longer than your ex's Instagram stories. Terp hunters give it an 8/10 stank score—strong enough to ghost your neighbors.
Growing: Set It and Forget It (Seriously)
Stays pocket-sized at 70–100 cm—perfect for that closet you pretend is a "guest room." Dense, trichome-armored buds sparkle like a disco ball under LEDs, with up to 60% trichome coverage when treated right. Harvest window is so forgiving even your burnout roommate could time it.
Medical Potential (a.k.a. Doctor Couch)
Great for stress, mild pain, and the existential dread of adulting. The balanced profile means you can still answer work emails before the indica body-slam arrives. Microdose to function; macrodose to become one with the throw pillows.
Who It's For
First-time growers who kill cacti, wake-and-bake artists, and anyone whose mantra is "I want it all and I want it in 10 weeks." Not for people who need to operate heavy machinery or remember birthdays.
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