Overview
Picture this: a strain that doesn't give a damn about your 12/12 light schedule and still cranks out 15-25% THC like it's flexing on photoperiod plants. Auto Assassin is Short Stuff's middle finger to the "autos are weak" crowd, packing serious hybrid genetics into a plant that finishes faster than your last situationship. It's basically the cannabis version of a hitman—compact, efficient, and leaves you wondering what the hell just happened.
Effects
The high starts as a cerebral sneak attack before body-dropping you into the couch like you're wearing concrete shoes. Users report a balanced experience that begins with sativa-style mental gymnastics—suddenly you're an expert on everything from quantum physics to why your cat judges you—before indica genetics pull the ultimate betrayal and turn your limbs into overcooked spaghetti. Perfect for when you want to be productive for exactly 45 minutes before becoming one with your furniture.
Flavor & Aroma
This strain smells like a spice rack had a threesome with a pine forest and a citrus grove. The initial hit delivers woody, herbal notes that'll make you feel like you're smoking a Christmas tree decorated with peppercorns, followed by subtle citrus that cuts through like your ex's passive-aggressive texts. The taste lingers longer than your last bad decision, leaving a spicy aftertaste that'll have you checking your breath before any important conversations.
Growing
Auto Assassin is basically the participation trophy of cannabis growing—it's so easy that even your friend who kills succulents can manage it. This plant tops out at 50-100cm indoors, making it perfect for closet grows or that sketchy space behind your water heater. It doesn't care if you give it 18 or 24 hours of light; it'll flower when it's damn ready, usually around day 65-80. The resin production is so aggressive you'll think the plant is trying to become a diamond.
Medical Benefits
Patients report this strain assassinates stress, anxiety, and that weird neck pain you get from scrolling TikTok for six hours straight. The balanced effects make it suitable for afternoon pain management without completely nuking your ability to pretend to be a functional adult. Just don't plan on operating heavy machinery unless you consider your couch heavy machinery, in which case—mission accomplished.
Who It's For
This strain is for growers who want photoperiod results with the attention span of a TikTok video. Perfect for impatient cultivators, perpetual harvest enthusiasts, or anyone who's ever killed a photoperiod plant by forgetting to flip the lights. If you've ever thought "I wish I could grow weed but I have the memory of a goldfish," Auto Assassin is your spirit animal. Just remember: with great power (and fast flowering times) comes great responsibility (to not smoke your entire harvest in one weekend).
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