Auto Gorilla OG

The Origin Story Nobody Asked For

Short Stuff Seedbank basically dared itself to cram Gorilla Glue’s resin factory and OG Kush’s diesel funk into a plant that flowers on autopilot. The result? An 85-day seed-to-stash miracle that makes traditional growers question their life choices while secretly ordering seeds at 2 a.m.

Effects: From Zero to Hero to Horizontal

First 20 minutes: cerebral fireworks, creative epiphanies, texts to your ex. Minute 21-60: gravity triples, limbs become optional, Netflix menu suddenly looks profound. Medical patients call it ‘prescription couch’; recreational users call it ‘Tuesday’.

Flavor Profile: Essence of Gas Station S’mores

Imagine someone dunked pine-sol marshmallows into high-octane fuel and then rolled them in pepper. Dominant terps are β-caryophyllene (black pepper kick), myrcene (couch GPS), and limonene (lemon pledge for your soul). Smooth inhale, existential exhale.

Growing: So Easy Your Mother-in-Law Could Do It

Stays under 3.5 feet unless you insult its mother. Responds to LST like a yoga instructor on edibles. Yields 400-500 g/m² under decent LEDs, 200 g/m² if you treat it like a houseplant. Harvest window is basically whenever you’re tired of trimming.

Medical Uses: The Swiss Army Knife of Nope

Great for chronic pain, insomnia, anxiety, and that weird shoulder thing you got from bad posture. Side effects include forgetting where you put your phone (hint: it’s in your hand) and ordering $47 worth of Taco Bell you don’t remember.

Who Should Smoke This

Perfect for growers who want photoperiod potency without photoperiod patience. Ideal for anyone whose landlord does monthly inspections or lives where the sun is more of a concept. Not recommended for people with ‘just one hit’ delusions.