Auto Smokey

Overview: Speed-Run Kush

Auto Smokey is CH9’s answer to growers who want indica effects without the 4-month photoperiod commitment. Thanks to its ruderalis side hustle, flowering starts on autopilot the moment the plant feels old enough to vote. Expect a squat 60-100 cm bush that’s basically a bonsai dispensary—perfect for closets, tents, or that one weird shelf your landlord never inspects.

Effects: Gravity Enhancement Serum

At 15-20 % THC, it won’t launch you to Mars, but it will happily drop you onto the nearest horizontal surface. The high creeps in like a weighted blanket: first the eyes get lazy, then the spine liquefies, and finally your phone feels too heavy to scroll. Great for binge-watching documentaries you’ll forget by morning or for convincing yourself that assembling IKEA furniture tomorrow is totally doable.

Flavor & Aroma: Hash Brownie in a Bottle

Terpenes lean hard on caryophyllene and myrcene, translating to earthy, peppery smoke with a faint sweetness—think old-school Afghani hash meets grocery-store brownie mix. The exhale leaves a spicy kick that pairs suspiciously well with late-night pizza regrets.

Growing: Idiot-Proof Green Nugget

Set it and forget it. Auto Smokey finishes in 70-80 days from sprout, pumps out 350-500 g/m² indoors, and only asks for basic light, water, and the occasional compliment. It’s forgiving of rookie mistakes like overwatering or naming it after your ex. Just keep temps between 20-26 °C and resist the urge to top after week 3—this plant doesn’t do comebacks.

Medical: Prescription for Doing Nothing

Patients report relief from insomnia, minor aches, and the existential dread of unfinished chores. The body melt is mild enough for evening use yet strong enough to make staircases look optional. Side effects include forgetting where you left the lighter and discovering snacks you bought in 2019.

Who It’s For

Perfect for apartment dwellers, impatient growers, and anyone whose life motto is “good enough, fast enough.” If you’ve ever killed a cactus but still want home-grown bud, Auto Smokey is your spirit plant. Just don’t expect to finish that novel you started—this strain edits ambition for you.