Cherry Pie by Flavour Chasers

The Origin Story (a.k.a. How Pie Got Predatory)

Back in the lab, Flavour Chasers weren’t chasing flavour—they were chasing your ability to stand up. They took old-school indica genetics, dunked them in cherry syrup, and birthed a strain that looks innocent but hits like bedtime at a sleepover you can’t leave. Seventy-percent indica means your legs will RSVP "no" to everything after 8 p.m.

Effects: From Chatty to Horizontal

First toke: "Wow, this tastes like pie!" Third toke: "Wow, gravity got an upgrade." Expect a quick cerebral giggle followed by a full-body gravity blanket. Great for cancelling plans you never wanted, finishing Netflix series you already forgot, or pretending your sofa is a life raft.

Flavor & Aroma: Grandma’s Kitchen or Glade Plug-In?

Smells like cherry Pop-Tarts left in a hot car—sweet, slightly musky, and suspiciously nostalgic. Taste follows suit: a cherry sucker punch chased by sour berries and a whisper of "did I just eat actual pie?" Terpene MVPs myrcene and caryophyllene handle the couch-lock and the mouth-watering.

Growing Tips for Aspiring Pie Bakers

Short, stocky, and dense—basically the Danny DeVito of plants. Flowers in 8-9 weeks and rewards you with purple-hued nugs so frosty they look rolled in confectioner’s sugar. Novice-friendly; just don’t overfeed or she’ll turn into a cherry-scented tumbleweed. Indoor yield: moderate. Outdoor yield: bragging rights.

Medical Uses (a.k.a. Doctor’s Orders: Dessert First)

Chronic pain, insomnia, and stress all wave the white flag after a slice. Also indicated for acute cases of "my relatives are still talking politics." Warning: may cause acute snack lust and profound respect for cushions.

Who Should Hit This Pie?

Perfect for night owls, insomniacs, and anyone whose fitness tracker just gives up. Not recommended for first dates, operating forklifts, or anyone who needs to remember where they left their car. If your evening plans include pants, pick a different strain.