The Backstory (a.k.a. How 00 Seeds Got Sweet-Toothed)
Back in the early 2010s, while everyone else was busy inventing cronuts, 00 Seeds Bank was cross-breeding like mad pastry chefs. Their mission: create a strain that tastes like a Swiss chocolatier sneezed on a cannabis plant. After multiple generations of back-crossing, stabilizing, and presumably a lot of midnight munchies, Chocolate Cream emerged—a 50/50 hybrid that proved you really can have your cake and smoke it too.
Effects: Couch-Lock Crumbs & Cerebral Frosting
Expect a smooth wave of heady euphoria that melts into a body buzz softer than a chocolate mousse. At 18% THC it won’t blast you into orbit, but you might forget where you left your dignity—and your snacks. Great for binge-watching cooking shows while you contemplate making actual brownies you’ll never finish.
Flavor & Aroma: Dessert Disguised as Flower
Nose: rich cocoa, steamed milk, and a whisper of earthy ‘I’m an adult’ sophistication. Taste: dark chocolate on the inhale, creamy vanilla on the exhale, plus a cheeky hint of coffee that says, ‘Yes, I’m basically breakfast.’ Terpene MVPs include cineole and terpinolene, which sound like Star Wars droids but actually deliver the bouquet.
Growing Tips for Closet Chocolatiers
Chocolate Cream grows like it’s late for a dessert buffet: bushy, dense, and covered in frosty trichomes that look suspiciously like powdered sugar. Indoor finish in 8-9 weeks; outdoors she’ll fatten up under the sun like a kid at Easter. Expect purple flecks on forest-green nugs—Instagram filter not included.
Medical Uses (Write Your Own Prescription)
Patients report relief from stress, mild aches, and that existential dread that hits right after you finish the last square of actual chocolate. The balanced high keeps you functional enough to adult, yet relaxed enough to stop doom-scrolling.
Perfect For
Anyone who wants dessert without dishes, couples who fight over the last truffle, and introverts planning a solo Netflix-and-chill that actually involves chilling.
Want to actually find Chocolate Cream near you? WeedVader.com has the real dispensary finder. We just have the jokes.