Citrique

The Origin Story Nobody Asked For

Bred by the mad citrus scientists at Exotic Genetix, Citrique is what happens when you lock sativa purists in a room with a lifetime supply of lemon bars and tell them not to come out until they’ve invented sunshine in nug form. After years of crossing zippy sativas that smell like a cleaning-product aisle, they emerged with this 70%+ sativa specimen that looks like it was dipped in trichome glitter and smells like it owes you money for stealing your zest.

Effects: Red Bull Minus the Wings

Expect the kind of clear-headed, creative euphoria that makes you alphabetize your spice rack at 2 a.m. because it suddenly matters. The 18% THC keeps things functional—no couch-lock, no existential dread, just a steady march of ideas that may or may not include starting a podcast about artisanal paper clips. Perfect for daytime use, awkward family functions, or pretending to enjoy hiking.

Taste & Smell: Febreeze’s Cool Cousin

On the nose: someone squeezed a lemon directly into your nostrils while whispering sweet herbal nothings. On the tongue: lemon-lime hard candy chased by a faint floral curtain call. Lab nerds clocked limonene and myrcene at levels high enough to make a citrus farmer blush. Room note is so aggressively fresh that guests will assume you cleaned everything, including your browser history.

Growing: For People With Ceiling Height

Remember those tall, lanky kids in high school? That’s Citrique. Indoors she’ll stretch like she’s reaching for the last cookie on the top shelf, so plan accordingly or invest in a ladder. Outdoor growers report tree-like structures that wave at passing airplanes. Expect dense yet airy buds frosted like a donut in a snowstorm, with yields that reward your vertical ambition. Flowering lands around 9–10 weeks—just long enough to regret not topping her sooner.

Medical: Doctor Prescribed Sunshine

Favored by patients who need to evict fatigue, depression, or the Sunday scaries without feeling like a sedated sloth. The clear mental lift can tame ADHD squirrels and spark appetite without sending you on a Taco Bell death march. Warning: side effects include spontaneous house-cleaning and the sudden urge to text your ex an apology haiku.

Who Should Smoke This

Ideal for creatives, remote workers pretending to be in the office, and anyone whose coffee budget is bleeding them dry. Not recommended for people whose to-do list includes ‘nap aggressively.’ If your idea of fun is color-coding spreadsheets while the Grateful Dead plays softly in the background, Citrique just adopted you.