Origin Story
Born in Amsterdam when a breeder asked, "What if orange juice could put you in a coma?" Roor Seeds took 80% indica genetics, dunked them in a vat of limonene, and birthed the strain equivalent of a LaCroix that actually does something. The Europeans have been quietly hoarding it for a decade while Americans were busy naming weed after breakfast cereals.
Effects (a.k.a. Why Your Plans Cancelled Themselves)
One bowl and your to-do list becomes a to-don’t list. Limbs feel like they’re filled with warm pudding, eyelids stage a protest, and the phrase "I’ll just close them for a second" becomes your epitaph. Great for people whose hobbies include forgetting what their hobbies were.
Flavor & Aroma
Smells like a janitor used orange-scented cleaner on a pine forest, then hot-boxed it. Taste follows suit: first sip is fresh-squeezed citrus, second sip is "Wait, did I just eat potpourri?" The finish lingers like that friend who won’t leave even after you’ve started brushing your teeth.
Growers Only: The Cultivation Chronicles
Think short, dense, and grumpy—like Danny DeVito in plant form. Flowers stack like green marshmallows rolled in sugar and spite. Yields are generous if you can stop staring at the purple streaks long enough to harvest. Novice-friendly unless you forget to water it while binge-watching true crime.
Medical Uses (Approved by Dr. Dankenstein)
Prescribed for chronic overthinking, existential dread, and the horrific condition known as "being awake." Also crushes insomnia like a Sleep Number bed with a vendetta. Side effects include forgetting where you put the remote—while holding it.
Perfect For
Humans who consider "standing up" an extreme sport, fans of naps that accidentally last 14 hours, and anyone who wants their orange juice to come with a side of existential crisis. Not recommended for operating heavy machinery, including your own legs.
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