Cough

The Origin Story Nobody Asked For

Relic Seeds took legendary Strawberry Cough genetics, gave them a 70/30 indica twist, and birthed a strain that’s basically a strawberry milkshake with naptime written all over it. They kept the fruity sweetness, replaced the sativa rocket fuel with couch cement, and voilà: a cultivar that pays homage to the classics while politely telling your to-do list to sod off.

Effects: From Zero to Nope in 3 Puffs

Expect a warm, fuzzy blanket of sedation to settle over you like that weighted blanket you bought on Instagram. Limbs feel like they’re filled with warm honey; brain activity drops to screensaver mode. You’ll still be able to think, you just won’t want to. Social plans? Cancelled. Laundry? Tomorrow’s problem. The only productive thing you’ll do is find the remote—before dropping it and deciding sleep is easier.

Flavor & Aroma: Dessert That Knocks You Out

Nose first: ripe strawberries doing the tango with earthy baking spices and a whisper of citrus Pine-Sol. Taste follows suit—sweet berry syrup on the inhale, herbal incense on the exhale, with a finish that lingers like the last awkward guest at a party. It’s basically grandma’s cobbler that grew up and learned jiu-jitsu.

Growing: Set It and (Literally) Forget It

Indoors she’ll top out around 120-150 cm, stacking dense, trichome-drenched buds that look like they’ve been dipped in sugar and bad decisions. Outdoors she stretches taller, but don’t worry—her sturdy landrace backbone shrugs off rookie mistakes like overwatering and underfeeding. Flowering wraps in 8-9 weeks, yielding enough frost to build a tiny igloo. Bonus: the purple-orange pistil combo makes your Instagram followers think you actually know what you’re doing.

Medical: Because Adulting Hurts

Doctors won’t write this on a script, but patients swear by it for insomnia, chronic pain, and that soul-crushing anxiety that hits right after you open your email. The 15% THC is gentle enough for lightweight tokers, yet heavy enough to hush racing thoughts and unclench jaws that have been tight since 2019. Side effects include forgetting what you were mad about and discovering you’ve been watching the same nature documentary for three hours.

Who Should Smoke This

Couch is ideal for people whose hobbies include napping, snack archaeology, and aggressively ignoring group chats. If your idea of cardio is reaching for the bong, welcome home. Novices won’t get catapulted into space, and veterans can chain-vape it like Netflix episodes—just keep a pillow nearby because gravity becomes a strong suggestion.