Exodus Cheese

TL;DR: It's basically edible dairy, but not

Imagine if a wheel of Stilton got drunk at Glastonbury and started making out with a skunk. That’s Exodus Cheese—Green House Seeds’ gift to anyone who wants their weed to smell like it expired in 1997. Balanced hybrid, 21% THC, and the genetic backbone of basically every “cheese” strain your dealer swears is “fire.”

Effects: Giggle Loop Incoming

Two hits and you’ll be laughing at your own shoelaces for twenty minutes. The high starts with a cerebral tickle that feels like someone’s brushing your brain with a feather duster, then melts into a full-body hug that won’t let you off the couch unless snacks are involved. Social enough for group chats, stoney enough to forget what you were saying mid-sentence.

Flavor & Aroma: Limburger Left in a Locker

Nose-wise, think aged cheddar rolled in gym socks and garnished with a lemon peel nobody asked for. Taste follows suit: sharp, funky cheese up front, earthy spice on the back end, and a whisper of citrus that shows up like that one friend who swears they’re “just here for the vibes.” If your grinder smells like a deli counter, you’re doing it right.

Growing: Mold’s Favorite Cousin

She’s a thirsty girl who loves humidity a little too much—like a houseplant that double-texts you. Indoor yields hit 600 g/m2 if you SCROG her properly; outdoors she’ll blow up to 800 g/plant but watch for bud rot (she’s basically a cheese wheel, remember?). Flowers in 8–9 weeks and finishes mid-October, assuming you can keep her from turning into a blue-cheese science experiment.

Medical Uses: Anxiety’s Cheesy Nemesis

Patients report it kicks stress, mild pain, and existential dread square in the arse. Great for winding down after spreadsheets or small children. Appetite stimulation is real—hide the Doritos or accept orange-fingered destiny. Not the strain for stealth; the smell will narc on you from three blocks away.

Who Should Smoke It

Perfect for UK expats feeling homesick for questionable dairy and anyone who thinks “funk” is a flavor group. Avoid if your roommate has a sensitive nose, your mom does surprise visits, or you’re trying to convince your landlord you’re “just burning incense.” Otherwise, grab a cracker and welcome to the cheese cult.