Face Plant OG

The Origin Story (a.k.a. How Your Plans Died)

Bred by 207 Genetics because apparently regular OG wasn’t devastating enough, Face Plant OG is the love child of classic OG lines and whatever demon resin makes your eyelids weigh 400 lbs each. They stabilized it with NASA-level precision so every nug hits like a weighted blanket soaked in nap time.

Effects: From Upright Citizen to Horizontal Hero

Expect a warm brain hug that graduates into full-body paralysis faster than your ex ghosted you. Creativity? Gone. Anxiety? Also gone—mostly because you’ll be too busy counting ceiling fan rotations. Couch-lock is guaranteed; the only thing you’ll be lifting is a snack to your mouth, and even that feels like CrossFit.

Flavor & Aroma: Diesel, Pine, and Regret

Crack a jar and get slapped by a pungent diesel-pine combo that smells like a lumberjack hotboxed his truck. On the tongue it’s fuel-soaked forest floor with faint citrus—think lemon Pine-Sol, but edible. Curing is so dialed-in you’ll taste it in tomorrow’s beard (or your roommate’s).

Growing: For People Who Hate People

Short, bushy, and introverted—basically the weed version of you after a week of social interaction. Flowers in 8-9 weeks, pumps out trichomes like it’s trying to win a glitter war (150k trichs per cm², nerds). Keep humidity low unless you want botrytis to join the cuddle puddle.

Medical Uses (a.k.a. Doctor’s Note for Naps)

Patients report relief from insomnia, chronic pain, and the crushing weight of adult responsibility. PTSD? This strain deletes the “T” and replaces it with “Pillow.” Side effects include forgetting what you were mad about and an uncontrollable urge to rewatch Planet Earth in 480p.

Who Should Smoke This

Perfect for night owls, insomniacs, or anyone whose to-do list can wait until the heat death of the universe. If your plans involve standing up, maybe pick something lighter. Recommended pairing: fuzzy socks, blackout curtains, and a preemptive apology to anyone expecting you to function.