Forbidden Fruit Pie

The Backstory: How Pie Became a Felony

Bakery Genetics basically played Frankenstein with Cherry Pie and Tangie, then slapped a scandalous name on it like they were smuggling pastries through customs. The result? An indica-heavy knockout that smells like a farmers’ market got frisky with a bakery. Connoisseurs call it "innovative"; everyone else just calls it "nap time."

Effects: Immediate Horizontal Mode

Expect your eyelids to file for unemployment within ten minutes. Limbs become optional accessories, thoughts turn into warm syrup, and the TV remote might as well be on Mars. Perfect for people who consider standing up a high-impact sport.

Flavor & Aroma: Grandma’s Revenge

On the nose: cherry cough syrup doing the tango with orange peel. On the tongue: sweet pastry crust, tart citrus, and a whisper of earthy regret. Limonene leads the parade, caryophyllenne brings the spice, and myrcene slams the brakes on your entire evening.

Grow Notes: Purple Frosting on the Cake

These dense, grape-sized nuggets come slathered in trichomes like powdered sugar on a donut. Expect deep green buds streaked with purple so vivid it looks photoshopped. Indoor growers harvest in 8–9 weeks; outdoor plants finish right when you remember summer exists. Yield is solid—as long as you can stay awake to trim.

Medical Uses: Prescription for Doing Nothing

Doctors won’t write this, but patients swear by it for insomnia, chronic pain, and the existential dread of assembling IKEA furniture. Side effects include forgetting what you walked into the kitchen for and a sudden appreciation for 90-minute YouTube documentaries about shoelaces.

Who Should Smoke This?

Ideal for introverts, insomniacs, and anyone whose weekend plans are aggressively blank. Not recommended for people on first dates, parents at school recitals, or anyone whose job involves heavy machinery—or light machinery, honestly. If your spirit animal is a weighted blanket, welcome home.