Gluttony

Overview

FireFly Genetics spent five years breeding the perfect excuse to cancel plans. Gluttony is 80% indica genetics crammed into a trichome snowman that'll glue your ass to any surface softer than concrete. Early test batches showed 20% more couch denting per square inch—science we can all get behind.

Effects

Imagine your brain getting wrapped in a weighted blanket while your body negotiates a hostage situation with your limbs. Users report a 95% chance of ordering two large pizzas "just in case" and a 100% chance of eating both before the delivery guy hits the corner. The high starts with a gentle head massage, then dives face-first into a food coma without the actual food.

Flavor & Aroma

Smells like a pine tree fucked a chocolate fountain in a spice aisle. Tastes like earthy berries rolled in cocoa powder and regret, with a peppery finish that whispers "you'll need antacids tomorrow." Lab nerds clocked 42 parts per million of "why does my mouth taste like a forest brownie" compounds.

Growing

Indoor growers love Gluttony's compact, dense nugs that look like green golf balls dipped in sugar. Outdoor plants stay short enough to hide from nosy neighbors but pump out trichomes like they're trying to pay rent. Flowering wraps in 8-9 weeks, yielding enough frost to make a snowman jealous. Just don't expect to actually trim it—your hands will be too busy holding snacks.

Medical Uses

Doctors prescribe Gluttony for chronic mobility, acute responsibility, and terminal productivity. Perfect for treating cases of "too much energy" or "I accidentally made weekend plans." Side effects include an intense relationship with DoorDash and a sudden appreciation for infomercials at 2 AM.

Who It's For

Ideal for people whose favorite exercise is chewing and whose spirit animal is a sloth on edibles. Not recommended for anyone with a gym membership they actually use. If your idea of a productive day is successfully opening a bag of chips without getting up, welcome home.