Gorila

Overview: Welcome to the Jungle

Gorila is Pyramid Seeds’ love letter to everyone who thinks “moderation” is a dirty word. Bred for maximum stone-age and minimum give-a-crap, this indica-dominant beast packs THC like it’s smuggling crystals across state lines. The lineage is hush-hush, but rumor says it’s basically couch-lock royalty with a splash of sativa so you can still remember where the snacks live.

Effects: From Upright to Horizontal

Expect a face-melting body high that starts behind the eyes and finishes in your ankles. Creativity? Sure—mainly creative ways to reach the remote without moving. Users report euphoria, giggles, and an overwhelming urge to re-watch Planet Earth on mute with their own commentary. Side effects include forgetting what you walked into the kitchen for, then remembering it was “everything.”

Flavor & Aroma: Diesel & Dessert

Pop the jar and get punched by a pungent combo of sour fuel, earthy pine, and a whiff of chocolate that says, “I’m here for a good time and a long nap.” On the exhale it’s sweet skunk with a diesel chaser—like a gas station truffle that went to finishing school. Your roommate will hate it; your taste buds will send a thank-you card.

Growing: Grease Your Green Thumb

Gorila grows like it’s mad at gravity—short, stocky, and absolutely dripping in resin. Indoor finish in 8-9 weeks nets you rock-hard nugs that look like they were rolled in sugar and bad decisions. She’s mold-resistant but still wants good airflow; treat her like a houseplant that can bench-press you. Outdoors, she’s ready by late September and will absolutely narc on you with that smell.

Medical: Doctor’s Orders—Netflix & Chill

Patients reach for Gorila to KO insomnia, back pain, and that pesky will to move. Stress and anxiety evaporate faster than your plans for the weekend. Word of caution: don’t schedule anything that requires standing, thinking, or interacting with humans who haven’t also smoked it.

Who It’s For

Perfect for seasoned stoners who consider “functional” a spectrum, night-shift workers needing a blackout curtain in nug form, and anyone whose ideal vacation is a round-trip to the fridge. First-timers: maybe start with half a bowl unless you enjoy horizontal introspection.