Gorilla Hair

Overview

Gorilla Hair is Boneyard Seeds' love letter to the West Coast, created by people who clearly spent more time breeding weed than socializing. After culling 70% of their initial phenotypes (RIP to the rejects), they landed on this balanced 50/50 hybrid that grows like a weed and smokes like a dream. It's basically the cannabis equivalent of a mullet—business in the front, party in the back, and covered in enough trichomes to look like it just walked out of a 1980s hair salon.

Effects

This strain hits you like a gentle gorilla—yes, that's a thing now. The 50/50 split means you'll be relaxed enough to consider yoga but energized enough to actually do it (though you'll probably just watch yoga videos while eating cereal). Users report feeling creatively inspired while simultaneously glued to their furniture, a paradox scientists call 'productive laziness.' The 18% THC keeps things manageable; you won't be talking to your houseplants, but you might apologize to your couch for sitting on it too hard.

Flavor & Aroma

Gorilla Hair smells like a pine forest had a baby with a citrus grove and raised it in your weird uncle's basement. The dominant terpenes—limonene at 3.5% and pinene at 2.8%—create an aroma that evolves throughout the day like a mood ring for your nose. Initial earthy musk gives way to sharp citrus, finishing with subtle floral notes that'll have you sniffing your jar like a wine snob with a head cold. The taste follows suit, with a pine-citrus combo that somehow works despite sounding like a failed craft beer experiment.

Growing

This strain is basically the overachiever of the cannabis world—grows like a weed (literally) and produces up to 600g/m² indoors while wearing a trichome coat so thick it looks like it got into a fight with a glitter factory. With 85% of test plots reporting consistent yields, it's more reliable than your ex who said they'd 'text you later.' The plant's resilience makes it perfect for growers who forget to water their plants but remember to brag about their homegrown stash. Expect stable genetics in 75% of seeds, which are better odds than most dating apps.

Medical Use

Gorilla Hair walks the medical-recreational tightrope like a stoned acrobat. The balanced genetics make it suitable for everything from anxiety to chronic pain, though you'll probably just use it to make your roommate's cooking show tolerable. The moderate THC level means you can medicate without feeling like you're on a spaceship piloted by your anxieties. Patients report it helps with stress, pain, and the existential dread of realizing you've been watching infomercials for three hours.

Who It's For

Perfect for people who want to get high but still need to answer emails, parents who microdose during Zoom school meetings, and anyone who's ever said 'I want to feel something but not TOO much.' It's the Honda Civic of weed—reliable, gets the job done, and won't leave you stranded on the couch questioning your life choices. Ideal for creative professionals, weekend warriors, and anyone whose idea of a wild night is reorganizing their vinyl collection by color.