Ground Beef 22

The Burger Origin Story

Plot twist: nobody officially knows what Ground Beef’s parents are. Breeders culled 21 lesser phenos before landing on #22—the one that reeked like a five-star burger joint. The name stuck because “Phenotype Twenty-Two” doesn’t sell weed that smells like Worcestershire sauce. Expect zero beef in the jar, 100% beef in the nose.

Effects: From Grill to Chill

First toke feels like flipping your internal switch from “productive human” to “meatloaf mode.” Limbs melt, eyelids get heavy, and suddenly binge-watching three seasons feels like cardio. It’s technically an 18-26% THC indica, but the terp combo makes it hit like a lullaby sung by Gordon Ramsay—savory, spicy, and impossible to ignore.

Flavor & Aroma: Five-Spice Funk

Crack a jar and get punched by cracked pepper, roasted garlic, and buttery pan drippings with a faint pine chaser. The exhale leaves a lingering umami film on the tongue, like you just French-kissed a ribeye. Room note? Your neighbors will think you’re running a pop-up steakhouse.

Growing Notes (Indoor Only, Chef)

Medium height, dense grenade nugs, and trichomes so thick they look dipped in gravy. She stretches modestly but stacks like Jenga on leg day. Drop temps late flower for subtle violet tips—because even meat needs a garnish. Expect 8–9 weeks bloom and yields heavy enough to flex on your dessert-strain friends.

Medical Menu

Chronic pain, insomnia, and “I just want the world to shut up” syndrome. Appetite stimulation is nuclear; keep snacks closer than your phone. Anxiety melts away, replaced by the urgent need to nap horizontally. Side effects include forgetting what you were stress-eating about.

Who Should Order This Burger?

Nighttime tokers, carnivorous terp chasers, and anyone whose self-care routine involves sweatpants. Skip if you’re planning to operate machinery, small children, or your own legs for the next four hours. Best paired with actual ground beef, streaming subscriptions, and zero obligations.