Juliana's Black Tee Tangie

Origin Story: Fairy-Tale Genetics, No Dragons

Named after someone named Juliana who apparently wore a lot of black band tees and smelled like a hipster café, this strain is Brothers Grimm flexing their classic C-99 speed genetics. They basically took Tangie—the loud orange terp queen—and forced it to sip black tea until it chilled the hell out. The result? A hybrid that finishes flowering in under 10 weeks, which is about the time it takes most of us to finish a single season on Netflix.

Effects: Daytime Dad Energy

Expect a clear-headed, citrus-punch buzz that lets you assemble IKEA furniture without crying, followed by a mellow body hug that politely says, "Relax, but you’re still doing dishes." Great for pretending to be productive while you alphabetize your vinyl collection.

Flavor & Aroma: Brunch in a Bong

On the nose: orange peel and bergamot having a loud conversation. On the tongue: sweet mandarin candy dunked into a mug of earthy black tea, with a whisper of leather because even your weed wants to look edgy. Room note is so classy you’ll swear your bong needs a doily.

Growing: Lazy Gardener’s Dream

Medium stretch, medium height, medium effort—basically the Goldilocks of grows. Yields dense, frosty spears that look like they’ve been rolled in confectioners sugar. Cold nights throw purple streaks so Instagram-worthy your followers will think you photoshopped them. She’ll forgive minor screw-ups, but don’t ghost her on feedings or she’ll herm like a drama queen.

Medical: Anxiety’s Citrus Life Coach

Patients reach for JBT when stress needs to be politely escorted out the door. Goodbye racing thoughts, hello functional euphoria. Also handy for headaches, mild aches, and pretending you’re okay with your in-laws. Not a knockout, so you can still drive to Taco Bell—responsibly.

Who Should Smoke It

Perfect for creatives who want ideas without the heart-racing espresso vibes, or anyone who likes their weed like their humor: bright on the inhale, darkly complex on the exhale. If you’ve ever worn sunglasses indoors ironically, this one’s already in your cart.