Overview: The Punch You Paid For
Mike Tyson is the cannabis equivalent of a heavyweight title fight—except you’re both the boxer and the punching bag. This OG-leaning indica clocks in at 15-25% THC and 0% mercy. Originally circling the BC and Pacific Northwest scenes as Tyson OG, it’s the clone-only legend that finally went legit when legal markets stopped pretending it didn’t exist. Expect dense, resin-drenched nugs that smell like a gas station next to a pine forest on fire.
Effects: Ding Ding—Night-Night
Thirty minutes in, your eyelids gain 200 lbs each. Limbs? Gone. Stress? Vaporized. The high starts with a cerebral smirk, then body-slams you into the nearest soft surface. Consumers report ‘profound stress relief’—translation: you’ll forget your ex’s Netflix password. Perfect for 10 p.m. or whenever the sun hurts your feelings.
Flavor & Aroma: Eau de Kush Locker Room
Crack the jar and get slapped by diesel fumes, wet soil, lemon zest, and black pepper—basically, a mechanic’s gym bag. On the exhale: earthy pine and a sneeze-inducing spice that lingers like the boxer’s trash talk. If your roommate complains, remind them it’s called aromatherapy.
Growing: Not for Soft Gardeners
She’s a dense, trichome-glazed beast that’ll snap her own branches under golf-ball colas weighing 80-120 g each. You’ll need trellis nets, dehumidifiers, and the humidity discipline of a Vegas florist—otherwise botrytis jumps in like Don King. Finishes in 8-9 weeks indoors; outdoors, pray for low humidity and zero hurricanes.
Medical Uses: Prescription Pillow
Doctors don’t write scripts for Mike Tyson, but patients do. Insomnia, chronic pain, and stress that laughs at yoga all tap out under this indica. Side effects include forgetting what day it is and discovering the true meaning of ‘gravity.’
Who Should Smoke It
Ideal for heavyweight stoners, lightweight insomniacs, and anyone whose day ended in traffic court. Skip if you have a toddler birthday party to attend or need to remember where you parked. If your tolerance is made of glass, maybe start with Tyson’s cousin, Glass Joe.
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