Muscle Dummy

The Bro-tein Shake of Weed

Mr. Green Jeans Genetics whipped up Muscle Dummy like it’s the cross-fit smoothie of hybrids: part indica, part sativa, all ego. The lineage’s under lockdown (NDA thicker than the trichomes), but rumor says it’s the lovechild of a gym-rat OG and a citrusy hype-beast. Expect 8–10 weeks of flower time, roughly the same duration as your buddy’s “just one more set” monologue.

Effects: Leg Day for Your Brain

At low doses you’ll feel focused enough to alphabetize your pre-workout collection. Push past a bowl and the indica side shows up like a personal trainer who’s actually just here for the free smoothies. Couch-lock is optional, creativity is probable, and your dumbbells will remain tragically untouched.

Flavor & Aroma: Spicy Citrus & Regret

Crack a jar and get slapped by cracked pepper followed by lemon zest that thinks it’s still in the produce aisle. Caryophyllene and limonene tag-team your nostrils while faint pine and bakery notes whisper, “You sure you hydrated today?” The smoke is smooth enough that you’ll forget you just coughed on leg day.

Growing: Easier Than Your Last Relationship

Indoors she tops out at a modest 80–110 cm—basically a bonsai bodybuilder. Responds to training like it’s chasing sponsorship deals; SCROG, LST, or just let her do her thing and she’ll still stack golf-ball nugs heavy enough to make your trim scissors file for overtime. Purple hues appear if you drop the temps like your ex dropped your calls.

Medical Uses (a.k.a. Excuses to Light Up)

Patients report relief from chronic pain, stress, and the existential dread of skipping cardio. The balanced profile makes it viable for daytime symptom management—just don’t blame the strain when you spend an hour researching the best resistance-band routines you’ll never do.

Who Should Smoke It

Perfect for lifters who want to feel athletic without moving, writers who think typing counts as cardio, and anyone whose fitness tracker is now just a pricey wrist decoration. If your protein shake is 50% ice cream, Muscle Dummy is your spirit animal in plant form.