Next Of Kin

Family Tree Dumpster Fire

Imagine your entire extended family baked into one strain—that's Next Of Kin. Super Strains basically played genetic matchmaker with 5-7 sativa varieties until they created this overstimulated overachiever. It's 80% sativa genetics, meaning it's the cousin who won't shut up about their startup at Thanksgiving dinner.

Effects: The Family Curse

Within minutes you'll experience what scientists call 'productive mania' and what your family calls 'Tuesday.' Expect a cerebral rush that makes organizing your sock drawer feel like solving world peace. Users report feeling creative enough to write their memoirs, then forgetting what a memoir is halfway through. The 15-25% THC range means beginners might meet actual next of kin in the afterlife.

Flavor Profile: Grandma's Secret Recipe

Tastes like your cool aunt's greenhouse had a baby with a citrus grove. The terpene profile is so complex it comes with its own family tree. Expect notes of pine, lemon, and that mysterious herb your grandma grows but won't talk about. The aroma is basically a scratch-and-sniff sticker that smells like productivity and poor life choices.

Growing: Keeping It In The Family

This strain grows like that relative who just won't move out. Dense, frosty buds that look like they're wearing tiny crystal sweaters. Trichome density hits 50,000 per square centimeter—basically a disco ball you can smoke. Grows well in cooler climates, probably because even the plant needs to chill out sometimes. Flowering time is consistent, unlike your actual family's attendance at reunions.

Medical: The Family Doctor

Doctor's orders: take two hits and call your therapist in the morning. Excellent for depression, fatigue, and that soul-crushing realization you're turning into your parents. May cause extreme productivity followed by existential dread. Side effects include reorganizing your entire life at 3 AM and texting your ex 'for closure.'

Who Should Adopt This Strain

Perfect for creatives, entrepreneurs, and anyone who's ever said 'I work better under pressure' while clearly not working better under pressure. Not recommended for people with actual family trauma or those who need to sit still for more than 30 seconds. If your family group chat gives you anxiety, this strain will either fix it or make it way worse—no middle ground.