Princess

Royal Bloodline & Heritage

Babylon Seeds whipped up this monarch by forcing Shiva Skunk, Northern Lights #5, and Skunk #1 into a very awkward royal orgy. The result? A 75% indica Frankenstein that inherited the best traits—like resin production that looks like the Crown Jewels and a growth pattern so stable it could balance the British budget.

Effects: From Peasant to Passed Out

Expect a creeping body high that starts behind the eyes and ends somewhere in the 14th century. Users report feeling like they’ve been coronated with a weighted blanket, followed by a royal decree to absolutely not move. Couch-lock so intense you’ll start naming your furniture and declaring war on neighboring ottomans.

Flavor & Aroma: Smells Like Royal Decrees

Terps deliver a skunky-pine combo with hints of earth and regal disappointment. The smoke tastes like what you imagine Queen Elizabeth’s private stash would be—if she traded corgis for chronic. Lingering aftertaste of "I should probably order pizza" and shame.

Growing: Fit for a Commoner

This strain grows like it’s trying to impress the royal court—dense, chunky buds that sparkle harder than Meghan Markle’s engagement ring. 8-9 week flowering time means you’ll have your kingdom harvested before the next Game of Thrones spinoff drops. Mold-resistant enough to survive British weather, yields heavy enough to make you feel like you’ve been collecting taxes.

Medical: Doctor Approved by Fake Royal Physicians

Doctors hate this one weird trick for melting chronic pain, insomnia, and anxiety into a puddle of royal jelly. Patients report it’s like having a royal physician prescribe "two bong rips and calling me in the morning." Warning: may cause extreme loyalty to your couch and sudden urges to binge historical dramas.

Who Should Smoke This Royalty

Perfect for peasants who want to feel like kings, insomniacs counting sheep on thousand-thread-count sheets, and anyone whose back hurts from pretending to have good posture. Not recommended for people with actual responsibilities or anyone who needs to operate heavy machinery (including your own legs).