Puddles

The Origin Story (Or Lack Thereof)

Nobody knows who birthed Puddles, but it showed up on West Coast menus like that friend who crashes on your couch and never leaves. Rumor says it's some Cookies/Gelato/Chem orgy that produced a baby so sticky it could double as flypaper. Breeders are still arguing over the actual lineage like it's a Reddit thread—just smoke it and pretend you understand genetics.

Effects: From Productive to Pudding

One hit: "I could clean the entire house!" Three hits: "Why is the floor so comfortable?" Puddles starts with a giggly head shift that makes bad jokes hilarious, then morphs into full-body melt that feels like being hugged by a lazy bear. The 20% THC creeps, so pace yourself unless your evening plans involve horizontal activities only.

Flavor & Aroma: Dirt Dessert

Imagine someone spilled diesel on a cookies-and-cream milkshake, then left it in a rainstorm. That's Puddles. The nose hits with wet earth and gas, then surprises you with a creamy sweetness that somehow works. It's the only strain that makes "petrichor dessert" sound appetizing. Your grinder will smell like this for weeks—embrace the funk.

Growing: Not for Beginners

Puddles grows like it knows it's bougie—dense, greasy nugs that demand attention. She'll reward you with purple hues and trichome puddles if you drop those night temps, but mess up the humidity and you'll get mold faster than you can say "craft cannabis." Yields are decent, but most growers are too stoned to weigh properly anyway.

Medical Uses (Approved by Dr. Stoner)

Patients report Puddles crushes stress like a hydraulic press, annihilates pain, and turns insomnia into a distant memory. The heavy myrcene content makes it perfect for those whose anxiety needs sedation, not stimulation. Side effects include profound discussions about snack textures and forgetting what you were just talking about.

Who Should Smoke This

Perfect for experienced stoners who think they have a tolerance and want to be humbled. Great for Netflix marathons, existential crisis management, and pretending your couch is a spaceship. Not recommended for job interviews, first dates, or anyone who needs to remember their own name. Essentially, if you have plans, cancel them.