Strain Overview
Bred by Strainger Seeds—who apparently named it after what your brain turns into—Pulp is 85% indica, 15% “we don’t talk about that.” The nugs look like they’ve been dipped in glue and rolled in purple glitter, packing 1.5 g/cm³ density that screams ‘trimming scissors go brrr.’
Effects: From Zero to Horizontal
Expect a freight-train body high that starts behind the eyes and ends somewhere near the carpet. Couch-lock is so real you’ll start charging rent to your cushions. Goodbye anxiety, goodbye ambition, goodbye vertical posture.
Flavor & Aroma: Tropical Basement
On the nose: overripe mango had a sweaty fling with a damp forest floor. On the tongue: sweet citrus candy dipped in nutty earth, like someone spilled fruit punch in a compost bin and somehow made it work.
Growing Notes
Keeps it short and thicc—50–100 cm indoors, maybe taller outside if you bribe it. Yields dense, resin-drenched golf balls that smell so loud your neighbors will think you’re running a Jamba Juice for skunks.
Medical Uses
Doctors won’t write this on a script, but patients swear by it for insomnia, chronic pain, and existential dread at 2 a.m. Side effects may include forgetting what you were mad about and discovering new crumbs in your couch.
Who Should Smoke It
Perfect for people whose evening plans are ‘exist horizontally’ and anyone who thinks ‘productivity’ is a dirty word. Not recommended for operating forklifts, small talk, or remembering where you left your phone.
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