Space Gorilla

The Origin Story Nobody Asked For

Greenpoint Seeds took two of the loudest legends in weed—Alien OG and Gorilla Glue #4—and Frankensteined them into a single, sticky spaceship. The breeder’s goal? Yields 20% chunkier than your average hybrid, trichomes dense enough to double as body armor, and a name that sounds like a rejected Marvel villain. Mission accomplished.

Effects: Zero Gravity, Zero Chill

First wave feels like a gorilla doing parkour inside your skull. Second wave straps you to a La-Z-Boy and cues the nature documentary. Balanced 50/50 genetics mean you can theoretically fold laundry or solve climate change; in practice you’ll scroll memes until the pizza arrives. Couch-lock optional, ego-trip included.

Flavor & Aroma: Pine-Sol Meets Gas Station

Nose opens with fresh-cut pine and lemon rind, then sucker-punches you with diesel fumes and a whisper of dark-roast coffee. Smoke tastes like citrus candy dunked in espresso grounds—sweet up front, bitter on the exhale, and weirdly addictive. It’s the olfactory equivalent of licking a forest ranger’s tire.

Growing: Not for the Faint of Heart (or Closet)

Expect dense, purple-flecked nugs weighing half a gram to a full gram each—basically miniature meteorites dripping in resin. Plants stretch like they’re reaching for the ISS, so vertical space matters. Novices will cry; intermediate growers will brag. Flowering time runs 8-9 weeks, after which you’ll need a chisel to break the buds apart.

Medical Uses (a.k.a. Excuses to Buy More)

Patients report relief from chronic pain, anxiety, and the soul-crushing realization that Pluto isn’t a planet. Low CBD (<1%) won’t tame the THC freight train, but it softens the landing. Recommended for evening wind-downs, creative blocks, or pretending your living room is a space station.

Who Should Smoke This

Perfect for seasoned stoners who treat 25% THC like a warm-up, film editors syncing explosions to Pink Floyd, and anyone who’s ever wondered what a gorilla would smoke before re-entering orbit. Not ideal for first-timers, parole officers, or people who hate vacuuming trichomes out of their keyboard for weeks.