Space Monkey Auto

The Origin Story (aka How to Breed Weed in Space Without Leaving Your Couch)

Rebel Seeds, founded by people who clearly watched too much Star Trek, decided to splice ruderalis, indica, and sativa like some kind of botanical Voltron. The result? A strain that flowers faster than you can say "I swear I'll only take one hit." Over 70% of their breeding experiments were basically speed runs to shorten grow times while keeping potency high enough to justify the electric bill.

Effects: Half Astronaut, Half Couch Burrito

Expect a gentle 16% THC ride that won’t launch you into another dimension but will definitely dock you at the space station of "I should probably order tacos." The 40/30/30 indica-ruderalis-sativa split means you get a body melt that’s mellow enough to still operate a TV remote, plus a cerebral buzz that makes conspiracy documentaries extra compelling.

Flavor & Aroma: Eau de Jungle Gym

Terpene profile leans earthy with hints of sweet citrus and that classic "I just opened a new tennis ball can" freshness. Translation: it smells like someone spilled Tang in a pine forest, and somehow that’s a compliment. Smooth enough for newbie lungs but interesting enough that your snobby connoisseur friend will stop talking about their latest live resin—briefly.

Growing: Idiot-Proof, Cat-Proof, Everything-Proof

Auto-flowering means it flips to bloom on its own schedule—no light-cycle babysitting. Indoors, she stays a tidy 60–90 cm; outdoors she’ll stretch to 120 cm if you let her. From seed to stash in 70–75 days, which is roughly the same timeline as your last three-week diet. Yields land around 350–450 g/m² if you remember to water her more than once a lunar cycle.

Medical: Because Adulting Is Hard

Great for anxiety, mild aches, and the existential dread of checking your bank account. The moderate THC level keeps paranoia at bay while still knocking the edges off reality. Perfect for patients who want relief without feeling like they’re auditioning for a reboot of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Who Should Smoke This

First-time growers who kill cacti, last-time smokers who want to remember where they put their keys, and anyone who thinks 75 days is an acceptable waiting period for happiness. If your idea of gardening is forgetting a potato in the pantry until it sprouts, Space Monkey Auto is your spirit strain.