Genetic Cheat Sheet
Ruderalis did the heavy lifting here—basically the overachieving intern that makes the plant flower on a timer so you don’t have to learn what “photoperiod” means. The remaining 70-ish % is a 50/50 split of indica chill and sativa zip, giving you a buzz that’s mellow enough to keep your pants on but peppy enough to find the remote.
Effects: The Fast & The Moderately Furious
Expect a gentle cerebral lift that’s less rocket ship, more airport people-mover. You’ll feel creative enough to start a podcast but realistic enough to abandon it after one episode. The body relaxation creeps in like a weighted blanket sewn by your grandma—cozy, slightly heavy, and smelling faintly of lemon pledge.
Flavor & Aroma: Dirtbag Gourmet
First sniff is wet soil and pine needles—basically Yosemite in a jar. Then citrus sneaks in like that one friend who brings tequila to brunch. On the exhale you get floral notes because someone told the terpenes to “class it up a bit.”
Growing: Zero-to-Hero in 7-9 Weeks
From seed to harvest faster than most Netflix series get canceled. She stays short and stocky, perfect for closets, balconies, or that suspiciously large PC case in your dorm. Yields are respectable for an auto; think “grocery bag” not “garbage bag.” Resists rookie mistakes like overwatering and passive-aggressive texts.
Medical: The Participation Trophy of Relief
Great for mild anxiety, minor aches, and the existential dread of answering emails. Won’t obliterate chronic pain, but it’ll make you care about 15% less. Also prescribed for people who forgot to buy birthday gifts and need to chill the hell out.
Perfect For
Beginners who want training wheels, apartment dwellers with nosy landlords, and anyone whose attention span matches the strain’s flowering time. If you’ve ever said “I just need something that works before my in-laws visit,” congratulations—you found it.
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