Star Treck

Mission Briefing

Grown from a ‘90s basement dream and 85 % indica genetics, Star Treck is what happens when breeders stop pretending sativas are useful after 8 p.m. Expect 18–22 % THC, zero ambition, and a couch indentation that looks suspiciously like your exact body shape.

Warp-Speed Effects

Takeoff: a warm headband of euphoria. Cruising altitude: full-body sedation that makes standing feel like advanced yoga. Re-entry: snack-cupboard archaeology and a 10-hour sleep log. Side effects include forgetting the plot of whatever you were streaming and discovering new creaky sounds in your house.

Smell & Taste Test

Nose: pine-sol spilled on wet soil, plus a rogue lemon that wandered in from a dessert strain. Mouth: earthy base notes, sweet middle, and a peppery finish that says, “Yes, I am technically an indica.” The aftertaste lingers like that one friend who never leaves after the party ends.

Cultivation Logs

Indoors she stays short, fat, and glittery—500 g/m² if you can keep humidity under control. Outdoors she’ll bush out like she’s trying to smother the neighborhood. Flowering finishes in 8–9 weeks, after which you’ll need a second closet just to store the trichome fallout. Beginner-friendly, unless you forget to water her; then she ghostwrites your apology notes.

Medical Bay

Doctors won’t write this on a prescription pad, but patients swear by it for insomnia, chronic pain, and the existential dread of open-plan offices. Overdo it and you’ll treat the non-existent condition of “being awake.” Titration tip: one bowl = bedtime story, two bowls = the book hits you in the face.

Red-Shirt Consumer Guide

Perfect for night owls, Netflix marathoners, and anyone whose fitness tracker just gave up. Not recommended for first dates, grocery shopping, or operating anything more complex than a microwave. If your plans include moving heavy objects or remembering birthdays, pick a different strain.