What Even Is This Thing?
Officially, Strain Dtars doesn’t exist. Unofficially, it’s sitting in a jar labeled “premium smalls” at your local dispensary for $45 an eighth. Think of it as Schrödinger’s bud: simultaneously OG Kush’s cousin and a total fabrication until you open the bag. The name could be a typo, a breeder’s inside joke, or a secret government mind-control experiment—honestly, we’re not ruling anything out.
Effects: Trust Me, Bro
Since no one can agree on lineage, the high ranges from “Netflix and actually chill” to “I just apologized to my couch.” Most users report a 50/50 head/body split that feels like getting hugged by a weighted blanket made of memes. Peak effects hit around minute 20, right when you start googling whether Dtars is an anagram for something dirty. Spoiler: it is now.
Flavor & Aroma: Somewhere Between Gas and Existential Dread
Lab data suggests your typical 2% terp soup—myrcene leading the charge like a frat boy with a fog machine. Expect earthy base notes, a suspicious whisper of pine-sol, and a finish that tastes like the word “dank” sounds. If it smells like your high-school backpack, congratulations, you got the real(ish) deal.
Growing: Good Luck, Champ
Because lineage is classified as “¯\_(ツ)_/¯,” breeders recommend treating it like a generic 8-week hybrid. Keep temps between 68-78°F, drop them 5-8° for purple flex photos, and pray it doesn’t herm because nobody can tell you if it’s prone. Yield clocks in at “medium AF”—so basically whatever your tent can hold without tipping over.
Medical Uses: For People Who Hate Reading Labels
Docs can’t prescribe what they can’t Google, but patients self-report relief from mild pain, moderate anxiety, and severe FOMO. Best for evenings when you want to feel something but still remember where you left your keys. Note: side effects include existential questions like “did I just pay rent money for a typo?”
Who Should Smoke This?
Ideal for connoisseurs who collect rare Pokémon and people who brag about “supporting local genetics.” Not recommended for anyone who needs to pass a quiz on terpene profiles or wants to impress Reddit. Basically, if you’re cool with mystery meat at a gas station, you’ll love Strain Dtars.
Want to actually find Strain Dtars near you? WeedVader.com has the real dispensary finder. We just have the jokes.