TL;DR: Who Hurt You?
Suzy Too is the CBD equivalent of a weighted blanket in flower form. Bred by back-crossing Suzy Q into herself (yes, plant incest), the goal was locking in that sweet 20:1 CBD:THC ratio so you can “smoke” at Thanksgiving and still pass the gravy without giggling. Expect zero couch-lock, minimal paranoia, and a terpene profile that smells like someone spilled tea in a pine forest.
Effects or Lack Thereof
Picture the gentle buzz of a notification that your ex just posted a selfie—not enough to ruin your day, just enough to make you sigh. Users report a soft cerebral lift that keeps the brain online, followed by a body hum that’s closer to a vibrating phone than a freight train. Great for spreadsheets, yoga, or pretending to enjoy your coworker’s acoustic set.
Flavor & Aroma: Grandma’s Potpourri
On the nose: earthy pine and chamomile with a whisper of citrus, like your grandma’s decorative bowl of potpourri finally got a personality. The smoke is smooth and tea-like, so you can rip it in front of non-smokers without them calling 911. Exhale reveals subtle notes of wet forest floor—perfect for people who want to taste nature without actually hiking.
Growing: Set It and (Sort of) Forget It
Plants stretch about 1.5-2× after flip, so SCROG or forever hold your peace. Buds come out spear-shaped and frosty despite the low THC, so you’ll still look like a connoisseur on Instagram. Finishes in 8-9 weeks, yields are “respectable” (grower speak for “don’t quit your day job”). Pheno-hunt for the louder terps unless you enjoy smoking lawn clippings.
Medical: Like Ibuprofen, But Cooler
Patients reach for Suzy Too to mute anxiety, inflammation, and that weird neck pain from doom-scrolling. Won’t fog the brain, so you can medicate at work and your boss will just think you’re finally “centered.” Pair with chamomile tea for maximum “I’m fine” vibes. Warning: may cause sudden interest in herbalism and unnecessary mason jars.
Who’s This For?
If you’ve ever said “I like the ritual of smoking but not the being high part,” congratulations—this is your soulmate. Ideal for soccer moms, software engineers in mindfulness bootcamps, and anyone who uses the phrase “I’m micro-dosing today.” Basically, it’s the LaCroix of weed: present, polite, and won’t rock the boat.
Want to actually find Suzy Too (Suzy Q Bx1) near you? WeedVader.com has the real dispensary finder. We just have the jokes.