Tease Auto

The Origin Story Nobody Asked For

Dr. Krippling spent a decade playing genetic Jenga with ruderalis, indica, and sativa just to create a plant that flowers faster than your ex's rebound relationship. After 50+ experimental crosses, they finally birthed this Frankenstein's monster of convenience—because apparently waiting 12 weeks for regular weed was too much like actual work.

Effects: Like Being Hugged by a Lazy Bear

With 60% indica dominance, Tease Auto hits you with that classic "I was going to do laundry but now I'm best friends with this couch" vibe. The remaining sativa genetics ensure you can still find the TV remote, though you'll probably forget what you were looking for. It's the perfect strain for when you want to feel productive without actually moving.

Flavor Profile: Earthy with Notes of Regret

Myrcene and limonene team up to deliver a taste that starts sweet and fruity, then fades into woody earthiness—like eating a fruit salad in a forest, except you're in your living room wearing pajama pants. The complex terpene profile is basically nature's way of apologizing for making you this lazy.

Growing: So Easy Your Dead Succulent Could Do It

This auto-flowering miracle eliminates the need for light schedule changes—perfect for growers who can't even maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Finishes in 8-9 weeks, produces dense 0.5-1.5 inch buds (up to 2 inches if you actually try), and handles stress like that friend who still lives with their parents. Cooler temps bring out purple hues, making your grow tent look like a tiny eggplant farm.

Medical Benefits (According to Your Stoner Friend)

Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, and the crushing weight of adult responsibilities. The balanced genetics provide body relaxation without full sedation, making it ideal for those who need to function but prefer functioning horizontally. Side effects may include an intense relationship with your furniture and sudden expertise in documentary films.

Who Should Smoke This

Perfect for growers who kill houseplants, consumers who measure time in episodes rather than hours, and anyone who's ever used "it's auto-flowering" as justification for their fifth grow tent. If you've ever been described as "high-functioning but lazy," congratulations—you've found your spirit weed.