That's My Purse

The Origin Story Nobody Asked For

Picture two breeders in a dark alley whispering 'psst, wanna buy some mystery genetics?' That's essentially how That's My Purse was born. Crafted by the Banksy of bud—Unknown or Legendary—this strain emerged when hybrids were busy 'killing true indica/sativa strains' (according to boomers on forums). The genetic makeup is tighter than a TikTok algorithm, rumored to be a White Widow-esque cross that prioritizes mold resistance over personality. Translation: this plant won't ghost you with bud rot, but it might ghost you on its lineage.

Effects That Can't Pick a Personality

Expect the emotional equivalent of texting your ex 'u up?' at 2 AM and immediately regretting it. The high starts sativa-uppity—suddenly you're organizing your sock drawer by color temperature—then slams into indica-couchlock like your Wi-Fi cutting out mid-Zoom. At 18% THC it's not going to launch you into another dimension, but it will gently suggest you cancel plans you already didn't want to attend. Perfect for people who want to feel productive while accomplishing absolutely nothing.

Smells Like a Krispy Kreme Had an Identity Crisis

Crack open a nug and you're hit with what can only be described as a glazed donut rolling around in garden soil after a citrus fight. The myrcene-limonene combo (40% of the terp profile, because science) creates an aroma that evolves from 'fresh bakery' to 'herbal tea that's been left in the sun too long.' Grinding it releases subtle spice notes, like someone spilled chai on your breakfast pastry. Roommates will either ask what you're smoking or what you're baking—either way, you're not sharing.

Growing This Diva

This strain grows like it's got something to prove—compact, bushy, and absolutely dripping in trichomes like it's trying to get cast in a rap video. Indoor heights cap at 150cm, making it perfect for growers who named their tent 'Studio Apartment.' Flowers in 8-9 weeks and yields 400-500g/m² if you can resist checking on it every 20 minutes. Mold-resistant genetics mean even growers who kill succulents can handle this, though it'll still judge your watering schedule silently.

Medical Uses for Functional Dysfunction

Doctors won't prescribe it, but your chiropractor might wink at you. The balanced effects allegedly help with anxiety (until you remember that email from three days ago), minor aches (from sitting in weird positions to smoke), and insomnia (from scrolling strain reviews at 3 AM). The limonene content might boost mood, or it might just make you hyper-aware of how many dishes are in your sink. As always, consult someone with actual medical credentials instead of this review.

Who Should Smoke This?

Ideal for commitment-phobes who can't choose between indica and sativa, people who want to feel mysterious about their weed choices, and anyone who's ever said 'it's complicated' about their relationship with their dealer. Skip it if you need a strain to brag about at parties—'Unknown genetics' doesn't hit the same as 'OG Kush.' Perfect for Tuesday nights when you're avoiding your responsibilities but still want to feel fancy about it.