Therapy Queen

Overview: The Royal Treatment

Dispensario Seeds whipped up this indica dominatrix to shut you up and tuck you in. At 70%+ indica genetics, she’s the genetic equivalent of "because I said so." Translation: expect your limbs to file for unemployment within 20 minutes.

Effects: Turn Off, Tune Out, Pass Out

THC clocks 18-22%—enough to make your brain wave bye-bye to productivity. CBD hovers 1-3%, so your anxiety gets a polite escort out while your body sinks into the nearest horizontal surface. Side effects include forgetting what you were mad at and discovering new snacks you didn’t know you bought.

Flavor & Aroma: Earth, Pine & Regret

Smells like a forest floor after a citrus tree breakup. Myrcene leads the terp parade (40%), backed by limonene’s lemony sass and caryophyllene’s peppery smack. Tastes like someone steeped potpourri in sweet tea and whispered "you deserve this." Exhale leaves woody-citrus notes that double as an apology to your lungs.

Growing: Low-Maintenance Monarch

She’s dense, frosty, and purple-tinged—basically a royal Instagram filter. Trichomes can hit 15% of bud volume, which means your trim tray will look like a cocaine Christmas. Flowers in 8-9 weeks, yields like she’s trying to pay rent, and doesn’t throw tantrums about humidity. Even your roommate who kills succulents can handle her.

Medical: Prescription-Strength Chill

Doctors won’t write it, but your back pain will. Crushes insomnia, anxiety, and that weird twitch you get from doom-scrolling. The 1-3% CBD keeps paranoia locked in the dungeon while THC melts muscle tension like butter on hot toast. Warning: May cause spontaneous couch ownership.

Who It's For: Overthinkers & Under-Sleepers

If your brain runs a 24/7 TED Talk of worst-case scenarios, meet the mute button. Ideal for patients who need to shut up and heal, gamers who treat bedtime like a myth, and anyone whose Fitbit thinks they’re dead. Not for morning people—or anyone with plans before 2026.