51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

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⚖️ 60/40 Split Hybrid

Ukraine Hybrid

Ukraine Hybrid: because apparently we needed a strain that f

THC 18-23%

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🟣 Couch-Locked at 5% Club

Ukraine Ruderalis

Meet Ukraine Ruderalis—the strain that hits like a gentle br

THC 5%

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⚫ Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Ulduz

Ulduz is the Bald Man Lala love-child of 150 failed experime

THC 18%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Champion

Ulduz

Ulduz is the strain you smoke when you’d rather cancel your

THC 20%

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⚖️ Perfectly-Balanced Hybrid (AKA Commitment Issues OG)

Ultimate AK

Sumo Seeds took the already cocky AK-47, gave it a glow-up,

THC 18-22%

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🍌 60/40 Indica-Lean Hybrid

Ultimate Banana Kush

Meet the strain that convinced a room full of stoners they w

THC 22%

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🔴 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Ultimate Chem

Meet Ultimate Chem, the strain that took one whiff of a 90s

THC 22%

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🔵 Indica

Ultimate Chem 08

If you ever wondered what it's like to smoke a 90s East Coas

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Ultimate Chem 08 by Thunderfudge

Thunderfudge’s love letter to chem heads everywhere: a back-

THC 20%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Chemist

Ultimate Chem 2010

The strain that proves time travel exists—one bong rip and y

THC 25-30%

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⚗️ Hybrid (Chem-Head Certified)

Ultimate Chem 818

Meet Ultimate Chem 818, the strain that proves you can teach

THC 18%

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🔮 Indica

Ultimate Circle

Wanted Seeds basically built a THC merry-go-round and named

THC 18-24%

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🤸‍♂️ Balanced Hybrid

Ultimate Flex

Ultimate Flex is what happens when breeders get tired of cho

THC 22-28%

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🔴 Certified Couch Gluer

Ultimate Indica

Meet the strain that makes your sofa feel like a memory-foam

THC 20-21%

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🔮 Couch-Lock Commander

Ultimate Indoor

Capricorn’s Ultimate Indoor is the IKEA bookshelf of weed: e

THC 18%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Ultimate Juice

Imagine if Sunny D and a yoga instructor had a baby—this is

THC 18-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Ultimate Kush

Ultimate Kush is the strain that asks "What if a weighted bl

THC 18%

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⚖️ 55/45 Indica-leaning Hybrid

Ultimate Kush by Cannarado Genetics

Ultimate Kush is the strain equivalent of a mullet—business

THC 20-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Champion

Ultimate Lav

Meet Ultimate Lav, the strain that proves you don’t need sky

THC 5%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Candy

Ultimate Nerds

Imagine Willy Wonka hot-boxed a purple Mini Cooper and then

THC 21-24%

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⚖️ 50/50 Hybrid

Ultimate OG

Meet Ultimate OG, the strain that took OG Kush to finishing

THC 18-26%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Ultimate Peak

Capricorn Seed Company's Ultimate Peak is the strain equival

THC 18-22%

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🥜 Couch-Lock Cashew

Ultimate Peanut Butter F2

MisterD Farmhouse turned a PB&J into a 25% THC tranquilizer

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Balanced Hybrid

Ultimate Purple

Ultimate Purple is what happens when BC breeders decide cann

THC 18%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Royalty

Ultimate Purple

The strain equivalent of Prince’s wardrobe—regal, purple, an

THC 15-25%

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🍹 Balanced Hybrid

Ultimate Smoothie

Ultimate Smoothie is the cannabis equivalent of a blender fu

THC 18%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Ultimate Stoney Berry

Meet Ultimate Stoney Berry, the strain that proves you CAN h

THC 18%

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🟢 100% Sativa Time Machine

Ultimate Thai

Ultimate Thai is what happens when breeders refuse to let di

THC 18-24%

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🚂 Sativa-Dominant Freight Train

Ultimate Trainwreck

Think of regular Trainwreck, then imagine it did CrossFit fo

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Champion

Ultimate Warrior

This isn’t the neon-tights Ultimate Warrior you remember fro

THC 18-22%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Ultra 85

Meet Ultra 85—the strain that makes your couch feel like it’

THC 18%

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👽 Pure Sativa

Ultra Alien

Pacific NW Roots spent three years breeding 50+ phenotypes j

THC 20-25%

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🔮 Couch-Lock Royalty

Ultra Boof

Ultra Boof sounds like something you'd buy from a guy named

THC 28-32%

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⚫ Couch-Lock Classic

Ultra Chem SFV

Ultra Chem SFV is the strain your dealer swears is “straight

THC 20-27%

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⚖️ Hybrid with Commitment Issues

Ultra Critical

Ultra Critical is what happens when Dutch breeders decide re

THC 18-23%

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🟢 Speed-Running Sativa

Ultra Early Love

Ultra Early Love is the cannabis equivalent of a microwave d

THC 18-22%

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🟢 Sativa-Dominant

Ultra Early Love

Ultra Early Love is the strain for growers who want sativa v

THC 15-25%

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⚡ Speed-Dating Hybrid

Ultra Early Love F5 (Love Potion)

The cannabis equivalent of a Tinder date who actually shows

THC 19%

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🍋 Pure Sativa

Ultra Fizz

Ultra Fizz is Calyx Bros' attempt at bottling pure ADHD and

THC 18%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Classic

Ultra Freshies

Cult Classics Seeds basically bred a Glade Plug-In that gets

THC 20-25%

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⚗️ Ruderalis-Enhanced Franken-Hybrid

Ultra G13

Meet the strain that graduated summa cum laude from the Meph

THC 18-24%

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🔨 Hybrid (a.k.a. Couch-Lock Light)

Ultra Glue

Lady Sativa Genetics basically weaponized couch-lock with Ul

THC 30-38%

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🔥 Citrus-Powered Sativa

Ultra Grapefruit

Ultra Grapefruit is the strain equivalent of mainlining Sunn

THC 18%

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⚖️ Even-Steven Hybrid

Ultra High Frequency

Red Scare’s lab-coat lovechild of Chemdawg and whatever else

THC 18%

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⚖️ 50/50 Split Decision

Ultra La Chem

Meet Ultra La Chem—the strain that treats indica vs sativa l

THC 20-24%

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🍋 Sativa-Dominant Autoflower

Ultra Lemon Haze

This 30% THC lemon grenade is what happens when breeders pla

THC 30%

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🍋 Sativa

Ultra Lemon Haze

Ultra Lemon Haze is what happens when a citrus tree and a Re

THC 18%

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🟣 Indica-Dominant

Ultra Nana

Ultra Nana is what happens when a banana Laffy Taffy gets po

THC 20%