51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

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🔵 Indica (but like, the bougie kind)

Capitol Chillz

Capitol Chillz is what happens when Congress stops yelling a

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ Perfectly Balanced Hybrid

Capitol Reefer

Meet Capitol Reefer, the strain that somehow convinced 200+

THC 18%

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🤯 55/45 Hybrid That Forgot How to Chill

CapJunky S1

CapJunky S1 is what happens when breeders get bored and deci

THC 25-28%

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⚫ Indica with Commitment Issues

CapJunky x Chocolate Trip

Imagine if a Michelin-star pastry chef hotboxed a Kush facto

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ 50/50 Hybrid

Capleton

Named after the fire-breathing dancehall king, Capleton is I

THC 18-22%

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☕ Pure Indica

Cappucchino

Lit Farms basically took your morning latte, dipped it in 22

THC 15-22%

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☕ Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Cappuccino

Meet Cappuccino, the strain that smells like your favorite o

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ 50/50 Hybrid

Capri

Meet Capri—the strain that convinced your lungs they’re on a

THC 18-22%

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⚖️ Indica-leaning Hybrid

Capri OG

Imagine Tropicana Cookies and Fire had a baby, then sent it

THC 21-23%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Capri Zun

After 18 months of lab-coat foreplay and 150 failed booty ca

THC 23%

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🍬 Candy-Coated Hybrid

Capri Zun

Meet Capri Zun, the strain that smells like someone spilled

THC 28%

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⚖️ Ruderalis-Enhanced Hybrid

Capri Zun Punch Automatic

Terpdawg Seeds basically Frankensteined cannabis ruderalis i

THC 18%

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🌞 Sativa

Caprichosa Thai

Imagine your brain hopping the last flight to Bangkok, order

THC 16%

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🍋 Hybrid That Thinks It’s a Sativa

Caps Frozen Lemons

Imagine a snow cone made of pure lemon zest and battery acid

THC 20-28%

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🍋 Citrus-Powered Hybrid

Caps Frozen Lemons Vivid

Imagine your car after a detailing with lemon-scented Armor

THC 20-28%

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🚀 Rocket-Fuel Sativa

Capstone

Meet Capstone, the strain that sounds like a college thesis

THC 20-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Commanding Officer

Capt Kongaroo

Meet Capt Kongaroo, the indica that sails straight into your

THC 20%

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⚖️ Hybrid

Captain Cake

Captain Cake is the strain that convinced your sweet tooth t

THC 19-21%

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⚖️ 55% Sativa Hybrid

Captain Cook

Named after the guy who ‘discovered’ an island that was alre

THC 18-22%

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🔴 Couch-Captain Indica

Captain Cookies

Captain Cookies boards your brain like a sugar-coated pirate

THC 18-26%

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🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid (The Breakfast of Couch Champions)

Captain Crunch

Captain Crunch is the strain that makes you wonder if your d

THC 15-25%

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🔮 Indica

Captain Crunch Muffin

Captain Crunch Muffin is what happens when a cereal mascot a

THC 18-23%

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🟣 Indica-Dominant

Captain Curts Rainbow Taffy

This 70/30 indica from Monster Flowers is what happens when

THC 25%

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🚀 Sativa

Captain Future

Captain Future sounds like a rejected Marvel character, but

THC 20%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid (52% Indica / 48% Sativa)

Captain Hazeman

Captain Hazeman is the strain that finally achieved peace in

THC 18-24%

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⚓ 50/50 Hybrid That Won't Actually Steal Your Shadow

Captain Hook

Captain Hook by Sincerely Cali is the strain equivalent of a

THC 8%

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⚓️ 70% Indica Couch-Anchor

Captain Hooks Cookies

Sunken Treasure Seeds basically bottled Neverland's edible s

THC 22%

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⚓ Hybrid (60/40, but 100% unhinged)

Captain Insano

Captain Insano is Aqualung Gardens’ love letter to maritime

THC 22%

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⚓ Pure-Indica Time Machine

Captain Jack

Captain Jack is what happens when an OG smuggler ghosts the

THC 24-30%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Commando

Captain Krypt OG

Captain Krypt OG sounds like a rejected Pirates of the Carib

THC 21-26%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Commander

Captain KushCo

Captain KushCo sounds like a failed pirate-themed restaurant

THC 21-27%

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⚓️ Sativa

Captain Morgan

Captain Morgan is what happens when landrace nerds binge pir

THC 18-22%

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🟣 Indica-Heavy Hybrid

Captain Noyes

Captain Noyes is what happens when nerds lock themselves in

THC 22%

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⚖️ 50/50 Hybrid

Captain's Cake

Captain's Cake is what happens when breeders binge-watch Gre

THC 18-24%

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🍰 Hybrid Dessert Disaster

Captain's Cake

Captain's Cake sounds like something your stoner uncle would

THC 15-20%

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🟣 Clone-Only Couch Commander

Capulator

Capulator isn’t a strain; it’s the breeder behind MAC 1, the

THC 24-30%

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🚗💨 60/40 Sativa-leaning Hybrid

Car Sex

Car Sex is the strain for when you want to get weird in the

THC 20%

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🟤 Balanced Hybrid

Cara Cara

Imagine if a Michelin-star chef dropped GMO into a Mimosa br

THC 24%

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🔴 Straight-Edge Indica

Cara Cara Pie

Holy Perogy’s Cara Cara Pie is the cannabis equivalent of a

THC 20%

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⚖️ 50/50 Hybrid

Cara Cara Pie F2

Imagine if a fruit pie and a pine tree had a baby, then that

THC 20%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Classic

Caramba

Caramba is what happens when Dutch breeders try to make a st

THC 18%

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⚖️ Boutique Balanced Hybrid

Caramba

Caramba is the cannabis equivalent of yelling "¡Órale!" at 2

THC 19-26%

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🟤 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Caramel

Imagine if Willy Wonka bred weed instead of chocolate—this i

THC 18-24%

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🍏 Dessert-Disguised Hybrid

Caramel Apple

Caramel Apple is what happens when your edibles start cospla

THC 18-26%

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🔴 Indica

Caramel Apple Crisp

Imagine if a fall candle got you baked—this is it. Caramel A

THC 15-25%

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🍯 Indica

Caramel Apple Gelato

Compound Genetics basically took a caramel apple, dipped it

THC 20%

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🔮 Dessert-Dominant Couchlock

Caramel Apple Gelato

Imagine a caramel apple that got lost in a diesel truck stop

THC 19-29%

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🔮 Couch-Lock Dessert

Caramel Apple Stout

Imagine if Auntie Anne’s and Guinness opened a dispensary—th

THC 18-20%