51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

🌿

⚖️ Balanced Hybrid (a.k.a. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Astaphanos

Astaphanos is the strain equivalent of a horoscope—vague, my

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Indica (That Keeps Pretending It’s 50/50)

Astaphanos

Astaphanos is Gnostic Seeds’ decade-long science fair projec

THC 18%

🌿

🟣 Indica-Dominant OG Hammer

Asteroid

Named after the thing that killed the dinosaurs, Asteroid is

THC 24%

🌿

🟣 Couch-Lock Certified

Asteroid Fuel

Asteroid Fuel is what happens when a boutique breeder asks,

THC 18-22%

🌿

🔴 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Asteroid Fuel

Asteroid Fuel is what happens when Illusion Genetics asks, "

THC 22-28%

🌿

🌌 Hybrid (50/50, but still somehow undecided about life)

Asteroids

A boutique hybrid that looks like Elon Musk’s stash jar and

THC 15-25%

🌿

🌌 Cosmic Sativa

Astral

Astral is what happens when Russian breeders decide your thi

THC 22-28%

🌿

🚀 Pure Daytime Rocket Fuel

Astral by Semyanich

Meet Astral—the strain that convinced your brain it’s got a

THC 24%

🌿

☄️ Sativa-Dominant Hybrid

Astral Cookies

Astral Cookies is what happens when Girl Scout Cookies joins

THC 15-25%

🌿

🚀 Low-Orbit Sativa

Astral Cookies

Astral Cookies is what happens when breeders try to make wee

THC 12%

🌿

🔮 Couch-Lock Cosmonaut

Astral Destiny

This boutique space cadet is basically Gelato’s emo cousin w

THC 18-24%

🌿

⚛️ Ruderalis-Indica-Sativa Triple Threat

Astral Exposure

Meet the strain that’s basically a NASA intern in plant form

THC 18-22%

🌿

🚀 Hybrid (Space-Dessert Edition)

Astro Candy

Astro Candy is what happens when breeders decide OG Kush isn

THC 20-28%

🌿

🟣 Cosmic Couch-Lock

Astro Cookies

Astro Cookies is what happens when Girl Scout Cookies gets a

THC 18-28%

🌿

🟣 Couch-Lock Cosmonaut

Astro Cream

Astro Cream is the strain you smoke when you want to feel li

THC 18-25%

🌿

⚫ Indica-Dominant Couch Lock

Astro Dawg

Astro Dawg is what happens when Danky Dankster Seed Co. lets

THC 18-26%

🌿

⚖️ Perfectly Balanced Hybrid

Astro Dawg

Born from Danky Dankster Seed Co.'s two-year science project

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Astro Funk

Imagine if a wheel of aged cheddar did a burnout in a pineap

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Couch-Lock Cruiser

Astro GMO

Imagine if a Michelin-star chef got abducted by aliens and f

THC 22-28%

🌿

🚀 Ruderalis-Powered Hybrid

Astro Jetson

Astro Jetson is Happy Bird Seeds’ attempt to make a weed str

THC 15-25%

🌿

🚀 Balanced Hybrid

Astro Jetson

Meet Astro Jetson, the 18% THC hybrid that auto-flowers fast

THC 18%

🌿

🟢 Balanced Hybrid

Astro Lemonade

Astro Lemonade is the strain equivalent of a T-shirt that sa

THC 19-22%

🌿

🔵 Couch-Lock Cosmonaut

Astro Mints

Astro Mints is what happens when a York Peppermint Patty and

THC 22-24%

🌿

🔴 Indica (with a rocket strapped to it)

Astro Pop

Astro Pop is the rare indica that smells like a melted rocke

THC 15-25%

🌿

🚀 Hybrid (Candy-Coated Couch Optional)

Astro Pop

Astro Pop is the strain equivalent of finding a melted rocke

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Indica

Astro Pop

Astro Pop is what happens when science nerds get nostalgic f

THC 20%

🌿

🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Astro Queen

Astro Queen is the strain that proves even space nerds can g

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Astro Queen

Astro Queen is what happens when rocket scientists get baked

THC 18-24%

🌿

🚀 Sativa-Dominant

Astro Snacks

Panther Genetics’ Astro Snacks is the Red Bull of weed—tropi

THC 18-22%

🌿

🚀 Pure Sativa

Astro Snacks

Panther Genetics basically sent your brain to space camp wit

THC 18%

🌿

⚡ Balanced Hybrid

Astro Thunderfuck

Beefcake Genetics took classic Thunderfuck lore, strapped it

THC 15-25%

🌿

⚡ 50/50 Hybrid

Astro Thunderfuck

Named like a 3 AM conspiracy theory, Astro Thunderfuck deliv

THC 18%

🌿

🚀 Daytime Sativa

Astro Weed

Astro Weed is basically Adderall in plant form. This citrus-

THC 18-24%

🌿

🚀 Sativa

Astroboy

SubCool’s love-child of Apollo 13, Ortega, and Cinderella 99

THC 16-24%

🌿

🔵 Pure Sativa

Astroboy

Astroboy is the strain equivalent of getting abducted by ali

THC 18%

🌿

🟢 CBD-Dominant Hybrid

Astroboy CBD

Imagine the original Astroboy got a corporate HR makeover: s

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Astrochimp

Ocean Grown’s Astrochimp is the strain that proves evolution

THC 15-25%

🌿

🟣 Indica

Astrochimp

Astrochimp: because nothing says "relaxation" like channelin

THC 20%

🌿

🟣 Spacey Indica

Astrocookies

Astrocookies crash-landed during the late-cookie boom with z

THC 15-25%

🌿

🚀 Hybrid

Astrocookies

Astrocookies is what happens when intergalactic stoners bake

THC 22-28%

🌿

🔮 Couch-Lock Comet

Astroglide

Astroglide sounds like something you find in a bedside drawe

THC 24-27%

🌿

⚫ Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Astroglide

Named after the slipperiest substance known to man, Astrogli

THC 20-25%

🌿

🟣 Boutique Couchlock

Astrolite

Astrolite is the strain for anyone who wants to orbit their

THC 15-25%

🌿

🔮 Couch-Lock Cosmonaut

Astrolite

Astrolite is the strain that makes you feel like Neil Armstr

THC 18%

🌿

🚀 Balanced Hybrid

Astronaut Cookies

This isn't your grandma's cookies—unless granny's been hangi

THC 15-25%

🌿

🚀 Hybrid (a.k.a. Cosmic Couch Glue)

Astronaut Cookies By The Fire Department

A boutique Cookies cross that promises to blast you into dee

THC 15-25%

🌿

🚀 Moderate-Potency Hybrid

Astronaut Ice Cream

A 15% THC hybrid that tastes like the ice cream truck and fe

THC 15%

🌿

🚀 Balanced Hybrid

Astronaut Ice Cream

Named after the crumbly disappointment you begged mom to buy

THC 18-22%