51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

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🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Master Widow

Meet Master Widow: the strain so old-school it predates Inst

THC 20-26%

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⚡ Sativa Saber

Master Windu's Saber

This boutique beam of sativa energy will have you quoting Je

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Adjacent Kush

Master X Lemon Larry OG

Imagine your grumpy OG grandpa got a citrus cologne and now

THC 15-25%

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🔮 OG-Adjacent Couch-Lock

Master Yoda

This mysterious love-child of OG Kush and Master Kush doesn’

THC 20%

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🔮 Couch-Lock OG

Master Yoda

Named after everyone's favorite 900-year-old ketamine frog,

THC 25%

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⚫ Old-School Indica

Masterkush by Dutch Passion

Born in 90s Amsterdam when Nokia ruled and weed still came i

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Kush Classic

Masterkush by Homegrown Fantaseeds

Amsterdam’s love letter to the 90s, Masterkush is what happe

THC 20%

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⚫ Pure Indica

Masterkush by Positronics

The Amsterdam coffeeshop MVP that’s been putting tourists to

THC 24%

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🟣 Couch-Locked Indica

Masterkush x Skunk

Born when Mr. Nice Seedbank told Master Kush to get freaky w

THC 20%

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⚡ Ruderalis-Indica Hybrid

Masterlow by Mdanzig

Meet the strain that made basement growers believe in miracl

THC 14%

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🧠 Balanced Hybrid

MasterMind

Meet MasterMind—the strain that makes you feel like a genius

THC 20-26%

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🔮 Boutique Couch-Lock

Masterpiece

In House Genetics’ Masterpiece is the strain equivalent of p

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Prehistoric Couch-Lock Indica

Mastodon

Mastodon is the strain for anyone who thinks "I’d like my bo

THC 15-25%

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🟢 Sativa-Dominant

Mastodon Haze

Stillwater Genetics unleashed this prehistoric sativa that b

THC 18-26%

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🟣 Pure Indica

Mastodon Kush

Imagine a woolly mammoth wearing a Snuggie—that’s you after

THC 15-25%

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🟣 True-Blue Landrace Indica

Mastuj Chitral Purple Apricot

Straight out of the Mastuj sub-valley where Wi-Fi fears to r

THC 15-25%

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⚫ Pure Indica

Mata Hari

Mata Hari is the cannabis equivalent of a Bond girl—gorgeous

THC 24-26%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Classic

Matanus K

Named after Alaska’s Matanuska Valley because nothing scream

THC 18%

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🗻 Sativa-Dominant (Alaskan Edition)

Matanuska

Matanuska is what happens when Alaskan wilderness gets a PhD

THC 16-24%

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❄️ Subarctic Creeper Hybrid

Matanuska

Born where the sun never sleeps and the frost hits harder th

THC 16-23%

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🟤 Hybrid (Alaska's Gift to Your Couch)

Matanuska Gorilla

Matanuska Gorilla is what happens when 1970s Alaskan bush we

THC 15-25%

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❄️ Alaskan Hybrid

Matanuska Mint

Imagine brushing your teeth with glacier water while a moose

THC 16-24%

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🔵 Pure Indica (Alaska-Edition)

Matanuska Moon

Born in the Matanuska Valley where the sun parties for 19 ho

THC 15-25%

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🔴 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Matanuska Mud Pie

This Alaskan-born, Zen Genetics-bred beast is basically a ch

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Old-School Alaskan Indica

Matanuska Thunder

Named after a valley where the sun barely sets and the weed

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Old-School Indica

Matanuska Thunder

Straight outta the Last Frontier, this frosty legend is what

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Pure Indica (from the freezer aisle)

Matanuska Thunderfuck

This isn’t your yoga-instructor’s indica—Matanuska Thunderfu

THC 20-28%

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🟢 Pure Sativa That’ll Make You Talk to Moose

Matanuska Thunderfuck

Born in Alaska where the sun barely clocks out, Matanuska Th

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Old-School Sativa

Matanuska Thunderfuck

Straight outta Alaska’s freezer aisle comes this vintage sat

THC 18-24%

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🚀 Pure Sativa Chaos

Matanuska Thunderfuck

Straight outta the Alaskan wilderness where the moose wear p

THC 18-24%

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☀️ CBD-Forward Sativa

Matanuska Thunderfuck CBD

Imagine Alaskan Thunderfuck after three years of therapy and

THC 5%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid with CBD Cushion

Matanuska Thunderfuck x SCBDX

Imagine a grizzled Alaskan sled dog that went to therapy and

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Certified Indica

Matanuska Tundra

Straight outta Alaska’s freezer aisle comes Matanuska Tundra

THC 18-24%

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🔵 Pure-Grade Alaskan Indica

Matanuska Tundra

Straight outta the Alaskan valley where Wi-Fi is optional bu

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Pure Indica

Matanuska Tundra

This frosty Alaskan export hits harder than a moose on a sno

THC 16-22%

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🟢 Sativa-Lean Hybrid (Alaskan Edition)

Matanuska Tundra FV

Imagine a grizzled 1970s Alaskan grower getting cryogenicall

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Matanuska White Valley

Bred for people who think Alaska is a vibe, Matanuska White

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Lock OG

Matara3 Blue

Meet the strain that makes gravity feel negotiable. Matara3

THC 25-26%

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🔵 Auto-Indica

Matara3 Blue Automatica

A Spanish autoflower that turned the legendary Mataró Blue i

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Commander

Mataro Blue

Meet Mataro Blue—the strain that turns your evening into an

THC 18-23%

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🔵 CBD-Forward Couch Whisperer

Mataro Blue CBD

Meet the strain that’s basically a weighted blanket you can

THC 8%

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⚫ Couch-Locked Indica

Mate

Meet Mate, the PNW Roots creation that sounds like a caffein

THC 15-25%

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⚡ Auto-Flowering Hybrid

Matic Light by Danes

Meet the IKEA bookshelf of weed: compact, idiot-proof, and e

THC 15-25%

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🟢 Sativa-Dominant CBD Flower

Matilda CBD

Meet Matilda, the yoga-instructor of weed—flexible, zen, and

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Matière Grise

Named after the French word for "brain goo," Matière Grise i

THC 15-25%

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🟢 Sativa Matriarch

Matriarch

Meet Matriarch—the strain that treats your grow room like a

THC 18-26%

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⚫ Couch-Lock Queen

Matriarch OG

Meet the OG that will tuck you in, read you a bedtime story,

THC 20-25%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Matrimonio Campesino

Matrimonio Campesino is what happens when a rugged field wor

THC 18-26%