51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Mickey Roonie

Named after a pint-sized Hollywood legend, Mickey Roonie pun

THC 20%

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🍋 Sativa-Leaning Hybrid

Micky Kush

Imagine if Jack the Ripper and Sour OG had a baby that grew

THC 22%

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🔵 Sativa (but secretly wearing an indica hoodie)

Micro Cookie

Meet Micro Cookie, the strain that sounds like a weed Barbie

THC 10-20%

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🟣 Pocket-Sized Couch Magnet

Micro Giant

The strain equivalent of a chihuahua in a Kevlar vest—tiny,

THC 14-22%

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🔍 Stealth Micro Sativa

Micron Auto Tao

Meet the cannabis equivalent of a studio apartment: Micron A

THC 15-25%

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⚡ Auto-Hybrid Speedrun

Microverse Morsel

The cannabis equivalent of a 90-second TikTok—microscopic pl

THC 15-25%

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⚛️ Autoflowering Hybrid

Microverse Morsels V2

The cannabis equivalent of a microwave burrito engineered by

THC 18-26%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Mid West Twang

Mid West Twang is what happens when a barn-find muscle car h

THC 15-25%

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🌞 Mostly Sativa

Midas

Meet Midas, the sativa that literally everything thinks is i

THC 18%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Midas Blood

Chef's Genetix basically bottled up Scrooge McDuck's vault a

THC 20%

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⚖️ Perfectly Balanced Hybrid

Middle Of The Road

Meet the cannabis equivalent of plain oatmeal: Middle Of The

THC 15-25%

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🟢 CBD-Forward Hybrid

Middlefork CBD

The Pacific Northwest’s answer to "how do I get pleasantly t

THC 25%

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🌑 Certified Couch-Velcro

Midnight

Midnight is the cannabis equivalent of a weighted blanket th

THC 19%

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⚫ Couch-Lock Classic

Midnight

Meet Midnight, the strain that yells “bedtime!” louder than

THC 7%

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🌙 Dessert-Hybrid Chaos

Midnight

Midnight is the strain that sounds like a sexy vampire but a

THC 20-30%

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🌅 Sativa-leaning Auto (a.k.a. Couch-Speedrun)

Midnight Auto

Midnight Auto is the cannabis equivalent of a microwave burr

THC 10-12%

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🌑 Night-Cap Indica

Midnight Berry

If Blueberry Kush and a blackout curtain had a baby, this wo

THC 24%

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🌑 Couch-Lock Express

Midnight Bessie

Meet Midnight Bessie, the strain that flowers faster than yo

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Classic

Midnight Blue

The Dutch basically weaponized bedtime with Midnight Blue—an

THC 15-25%

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🔵 CBD-Heavy Sativa

Midnight by Tikum Olam

Meet Midnight, the strain that proves you can be productive

THC 7%

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🟣 Indica

Midnight Cheese

Imagine a wheel of blue cheese that went to night school and

THC 15-20%

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🟣 Indica-Heavy Cheese Wheel

Midnight Cheese

Imagine a wheel of aged cheddar got possessed by a stoner gh

THC 18-22%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid (But Mostly Just Hype)

Midnight Cherries Fast Version

G.O.A.T Genetics basically told Father Time to hold their bo

THC 18-24%

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🟣 Purple Night-Night Indica

Midnight Cherry

Midnight Cherry is the strain equivalent of eating an entire

THC 26%

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🍒 Sativa-Leaning Hybrid

Midnight Cherry Bx

Midnight Cherry Bx is The Bakery Genetics’ attempt to make a

THC 20-26%

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🎪 Hybrid

Midnight Circus

Midnight Circus is the cannabis equivalent of sneaking into

THC 20-26%

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⚫️ Indica

Midnight Climax

This cloak-and-dagger cultivar slips into your lungs like a

THC 15-25%

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🌙 50/50 Hybrid (aka “Ambien with Sprinkles”)

Midnight Cookies

Imagine if Keebler elves moonlighted as sleep technicians—th

THC 10-12%

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⚫ Late-Night Couch Rodeo

Midnight Cowboy

Midnight Cowboy is the rare indica that smells like a cowboy

THC 15-25%

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⚫ Indica Knock-Out

Midnight Espresso

Copycat Genetix’s Midnight Espresso is the strain you reach

THC 18-28%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Midnight Express

Midnight Express is the cannabis equivalent of a red-eye fli

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Pocket-Sized Indica Bullet Train

Midnight Express Auto

Think of a British bulldog that shrank to bonsai size and st

THC 15-25%

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🚂 Mystery Hybrid (All Aboard the THC Train)

Midnight Express F2

The F2 sequel nobody asked for but everybody needs—Cannabis

THC 18-30%

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🌑 Incestuous Indica

Midnight Express F2

Imagine if your favorite strain had a baby… with itself. Mee

THC 22%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Coma Indica

Midnight Fantasy

Midnight Fantasy is Farmhouse Genetics’ love letter to anyon

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Midnight Fire

Midnight Fire sounds like a rejected cologne from Axe, but i

THC 18%

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⚖️ Balanced Frost-Machine Hybrid

Midnight Frost

Imagine a Christmas tree that got drunk on dark berries and

THC 22%

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🕵️‍♂️ Balanced Hybrid

Midnight Heist

Midnight Heist is the cannabis equivalent of a bank job plan

THC 15-25%

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⚡ Sativa-Dominant

Midnight King

Meet Midnight King—the strain that makes you feel like a ben

THC 15-25%

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⚫ Couch-Lock Classic

Midnight Kush

Midnight Kush is the cannabis equivalent of a weighted blank

THC 20-26%

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🟣 Boutique Indica

Midnight Lemonade

PreFloodGenetics’ limited-run indica is what happens when a

THC 18-26%

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🟣 Indica-Leaning Hybrid

Midnight Mango

Imagine a mango aggressively hugging you to sleep while whis

THC 15-25%

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🌚 Couch-Lock on Autopilot

Midnight Marathon F4

Night Owl’s F4 auto is the cannabis equivalent of a microwav

THC 18-24%

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🎄 Hybrid That Skipped Church

Midnight Mass

Meet Midnight Mass—the only Mass you’ll actually enjoy sitti

THC 16%

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⚡ Sativa-leaning Autoflower

Midnight Mass

Night Owl’s Midnight Mass is the strain that asks, "What if

THC 15-25%

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⚫ Couch-Lock Certified

Midnight Meltdown

Like a weighted blanket for your neurons, Midnight Meltdown

THC 20-30%

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🍪 Dessert-Dominant Hybrid

Midnight Munchies

The strain that proves "you’ll regret it tomorrow" is a myth

THC 22-26%

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🌚 Couch-Fucking Indica

Midnight Orgy

Midnight Orgy is the strain that asks "Netflix and literally

THC 15-25%