51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

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🟣 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Monkey Bomb

Monkey Bomb by Bomb Seeds is the indica that promises to kno

THC 15-25%

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🍌 Couch-Lock Confection

Monkey Bread

A.B. Seed Co.'s Monkey Bread is the strain equivalent of div

THC 19-25%

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🐵 Hybrid Chaos Generator

Monkey Bread F2

Imagine if a Cinnabon and a gas station had a baby, then tha

THC 15-25%

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🦍🫁 Knock-Out Indica

Monkey Breath

Monkey Breath is what happens when Grease Monkey and Mendo B

THC 15-25%

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🍌 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Bunz

Monkey Bunz is what happens when a pastry chef gets bored an

THC 15-25%

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🐵 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Business

Fancy Weed’s Monkey Business is the cannabis equivalent of s

THC 18-25%

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🟣 Indica

Monkey Business

Secret Society Seed Co. basically bred a weighted blanket in

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Indica

Monkey Business

Monkey Business is the strain that turns your living room in

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Indica

Monkey Business

Named like a cartoon caper but hits like a tranquilizer dart

THC 22-24%

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🤹‍♂️ Sativa-Lean Hybrid

Monkey Business x Hazy Lady #11

ThugPug’s Michigan mad scientists took gluey gas, threw it a

THC 17-24%

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🟣 Indica (but talks more than your drunk uncle)

Monkey Chatter

Imagine a strain that smells like a gas-soaked piña colada a

THC 15-25%

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🌈 Ruderalis-Enhanced Hybrid

Monkey Chow

Monkey Chow is what happens when a boutique breeder locks a

THC 15-25%

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🔴 Indica

Monkey Farts

Monkey Farts is the strain that proves breeders ran out of c

THC 15-25%

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🔵 Couch-Lock Certified

Monkey Glue

A sticky-fingered GG4 phenotype that’s basically Gorilla Glu

THC 15-25%

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🟤 Hybrid Auto That’ll Stick to You Like Regret

Monkey Glue Autoflower

The strain that turns your grow tent into a 3M lab and your

THC 20-27%

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⚖️ 50/50 Hybrid That Forgot to Shower

Monkey Grease

Monkey Grease sounds like something you'd find in a McDonald

THC 20-26%

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🐒🍬 Hybrid

Monkey Gum

Monkey Gum is what happens when Willy Wonka’s gumball machin

THC 18-26%

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🐒🍪 Hybrid Haze-Cookie Mash-Up

Monkey Haze Cookies

Imagine if a caffeinated orangutan opened a cookie shop in a

THC 18-25%

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🐵 Sativa-Forward Hybrid

Monkey Juice

Monkey Juice is the strain you reach for when you want to fe

THC 20-30%

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🍌 Indica-Dominant Hybrid

Monkey Juice

Monkey Juice is what happens when a boutique breeder tells t

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Cryptid Indica

Monkey Junk

Monkey Junk is the Sasquatch of indicas—everyone swears thei

THC 20-24%

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🟣 Indica-Leaner

Monkey Junk

Monkey Junk is the strain your plug swears is "straight from

THC 15-25%

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🐵🍬 Indica Dessert Bomb

Monkey Kandy

Monkey Kandy is the strain that convinced your dentist to st

THC 18-26%

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🔶 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Kong

Monkey Kong is what happens when a boutique breeder decides

THC 19-22%

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🐒🥭 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Mangos

Monkey Mangos is what happens when Pacific Northwest breeder

THC 20%

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🙈 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Massacre

Doc’s Dank Seeds’ limited-run love child that swings from ce

THC 18-26%

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🐒🍃 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Mints

Monkey Mints is what happens when Exotic Genetix decides you

THC 20-26%

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🟣 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Mints X Rollex OG

A Frankenstein cookie dipped in diesel fuel and rolled in mi

THC 20-28%

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🟣 Indica

Monkey Munch

Monkey Munch is the stoner's answer to a gas-station snack a

THC 19-23%

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🟣 Couch-Locking Indica

Monkey OG

Monkey OG is basically OG Kush after it ate a whole cheeseca

THC 20-28%

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🟣 Indica

Monkey Pie

Monkey Pie is what happens when a grease-monkey mechanic and

THC 20-26%

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🤒 Balanced Hybrid (No Vaccine Required)

Monkey Pox

Smoke One Genetics said "hold my beer" and named a strain af

THC 18-26%

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🟣 Indica

Monkey Punch

Monkey Punch is the strain that knocks you out faster than a

THC 15-25%

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🐒👑 Indica Queen

Monkey Queen

Monkey Queen is the PNW’s answer to "what if a rain forest b

THC 18-22%

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🐒🦨 Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Skunk

Imagine a skunk sprayed a jungle gym—now roll it up and smok

THC 17-24%

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🔮 Autoflower Indica

Monkey Snax

Smoke One Genetics basically put couch-lock in a microwave d

THC 15-25%

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🧼 Hybrid

Monkey Soap

Monkey Soap is what happens when a classy soap opera star ho

THC 20-25%

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🟣 Mysterious Indica

Monkey Spunk

The strain your plug swears is "straight from Cali" but nobo

THC 19%

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🟣 Chem-Berry Hybrid

Monkey Spunk

Monkey Spunk is what happens when breeders name weed after t

THC 18-25%

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🐒 Pure Couch Primate

Monkey Tails

Monkey Tails is the strain you light when your to-do list in

THC 18-26%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Monkey Tracks

Monkey Tracks is the strain that proves evolution got really

THC 26%

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🚂 Sativa-Dominant Locomotive

Monkey Train

Named like a rejected Disney ride, Monkey Train is basically

THC 27-29%

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🐵 Sativa-Leaning Hybrid

Monkey's Paw by Hash Hands

Named after the cursed talisman that ruins lives, Monkey’s P

THC 18-26%

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🐵 Sativa

Monkeyhead

Monkeyhead is what happens when Mantis Genetics decides your

THC 15-25%

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🔮 Indica

Monsanto Mints

Imagine a Girl Scout cookie that grew up, sold out, and now

THC 18-26%

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🟢 Sativa

Monster

Meet Monster—the polite Spanish sativa that forgot to read t

THC 16-21%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Colossus

Monster

Meet Monster—the strain that hits like a freight train weari

THC 22-23%

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🟣 Indica-Leaning Hybrid

Monster Berry

Monster Berry is the strain equivalent of a blueberry Pop-Ta

THC 15-25%