51,970 Brutally Honest
Strain Reviews

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🟣 Couch-Lock Express

Monster Bud Kush

Zamnesia’s Monster Bud Kush is the botanical equivalent of a

THC 17-23%

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🟣 Autoflower Hybrid

Monster Bud XL

Professional Genetics named this thing "Monster Bud XL" beca

THC 19-21%

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🎂 Dessert-Fueled Hybrid

Monster Cake

Imagine Wedding Cake and Monster Cookies got drunk at a past

THC 22%

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🟣 Indica-Dominant Cookie Monster

Monster Cookies

Imagine if Cookie Monster ate a vineyard, then took a nap on

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Classic

Monster Cookies

The strain that proves "mystery meat" genetics can still sla

THC 25%

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🔮 Purple Couch Gremlin

Monster Cookies

The illegitimate love child of Girl Scout Cookies and Grandd

THC 18-24%

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🍪 Couch-Lock Express Hybrid

Monster Cookies Auto

Monster Cookies Auto is the lazy grower's cheat code: Girl S

THC 18%

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⚡ Hybrid (Dessert-Gas Hybrid)

Monster Cookies X High Octaine

Obsoul33t Genetics basically Frankenstein’d a Girl Scout and

THC 18-24%

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⚔️ Pocket-Sized Hybrid

Monster Dwarf Auto

Meet the cannabis equivalent of a chihuahua in a muscle shir

THC 17-20%

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⛽ Indica

Monster Fuel

Monster Fuel is what happens when Cookies and Jet Fuel have

THC 22-26%

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🟣 Hybrid (Glue-Cookie Mash-Up)

Monster Glue

Meet the strain that sounds like a B-movie villain but hits

THC 25%

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⚖️ Mystery-Meat Hybrid

Monster Hunter

The strain so secretive it makes the CIA look chatty. Monste

THC 15-25%

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⚡ Sativa

Monster Jedi

At a whopping 5% THC, Monster Jedi is the strain for people

THC 5%

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⚖️ Clone-Only Hybrid

Monster Kush

Monster Kush is the cannabis equivalent of a rare Pokémon ca

THC 18-25%

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🟣 Kush-Leaning Hybrid

Monster Kush

Monster Kush sounds like it’ll yeet you into another dimensi

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Indica-Dominant

Monster Maker

Monster Maker is the Spanish Arnold Schwarzenegger of indica

THC 18-24%

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🎃 Autoflower Hybrid

Monster Mash

This Frankenstein’s auto-flower bolts from seed to stash in

THC 17-22%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Monster Mash

This strain sounds like a haunted mosh pit but hits more lik

THC 18-26%

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🔮 Autoflower Indica

Monster Mashup

Packed tighter than a budget airline seat, Monster Mashup wa

THC 18%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Leviathan

Monster Mass

Meet Monster Mass, the strain that puts the “critical" in Cr

THC 23-24%

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🌊 Sativa-Leaning Hybrid

Monster Moby

This isn’t your dad’s old-school Haze—Monster Moby is the In

THC 19-21%

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🔮 Couch-Lock OG

Monster OG

Monster OG is the strain equivalent of a weighted blanket so

THC 19-26%

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💰 Sativa-Dominant Cash Cow

Monster Profit

Meet the strain that pays rent. Monster Profit grows like it

THC 18-24%

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☀️ Sativa-leaning mystery meat

Monster Rain by Tatewari Tactical

Meet Monster Rain: the strain so exclusive even its parents

THC 18-26%

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🟢 Hybrid

Monster Sauce

Monster Sauce is what happens when breeders get horny for re

THC 20%

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⚡ Autoflowering Hybrid

Monster Skunk Auto

Imagine if your high-school gym socks grew teeth—then got yo

THC 16-22%

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🟣 Couch-Lock OG

Monster Weed

Monster Weed is the strain that makes your dealer say "I can

THC 20%

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🟣 Couch-Lock Candy

Monster Zkittlez

Europe’s answer to California candy weed—Monster Zkittlez is

THC 18-24%

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🟢 Sativa-Dominant

Monsterbud

Imagine a sativa that didn’t skip leg day and now squats 300

THC 20%

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⚡ Speed-Run Hybrid

Monsterbud Autoflowering

The cannabis equivalent of a microwave dinner—fast, filling,

THC 18%

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❄️ Balanced Hybrid

Mont Blanc

Named after a glacier and frosted like a stoner’s wedding ca

THC 15-25%

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🔥 Dumpster-Sized Indica

Montana Dumpster Fire

This strain’s name isn’t ironic—one hit and you’ll feel like

THC 22%

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🟣 Grizzly Indica

Montana Silverback

Named after a gorilla and bred to survive actual glaciers, M

THC 15-30%

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🟢 Sativa-Leaning Hybrid

Montana Silvertip

Meet Montana Silvertip: the strain that dresses like a snow-

THC 18-25%

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🔵 Balanced Hybrid (GDP x Silver Haze)

Montana Silvertip Terpines

Meet the strain that looks like it got frostbite in the best

THC 20-24%

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🔴 Pure Sativa Energy Drink

Montaña Roja

Montaña Roja is basically what happens when a mountain decid

THC 18-24%

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🟢 Sativa-Leaning Mystery Meat

Montaña Sur

Montaña Sur is what happens when a boutique breeder tries to

THC 15-25%

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🟣 Boutique Indica

Monte Carlo

Monte Carlo is the cannabis equivalent of valet-parking a go

THC 20%

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⚖️ Boutique Balanced Hybrid

Montecristo

Montecristo is the strain you brag about at dinner parties r

THC 18-26%

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🟣 Balanced Hybrid

Montel's Dream Widow

Picture Blue Dream and White Widow getting drunk at a charit

THC 18-24%

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🌞 South American Sativa

Montevideo Gold

Montevideo Gold is the cannabis equivalent of a hostel bunk

THC 7-12%

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🔮 Mystery Kush Hybrid

Montuc Kush

Montuc Kush is what happens when Colorado breeders play Mad

THC 18-26%

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🟢 Sativa-leaning Hybrid

Monty Python

Monty Python is Crockett Family Farms’ boutique in-joke: a f

THC 15-25%

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⚖️ Balanced Hybrid

Montys Mission

Meet the Toyota Camry of weed—Montys Mission is so dependabl

THC 18-28%

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⚖️ 50/50-ish Hybrid

Mood Ring

Mood Ring is the emotional support animal of weed—starts lik

THC 20-23%

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⚫ Indica (but acts like it's been to therapy)

Mood Ring

Like the novelty jewelry from 7th grade, this strain changes

THC 22%

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⚖️ Mysterious Balanced Hybrid

Mookie B

Meet Mookie B—the strain so secretive about its family tree

THC 20%

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🎪 Balanced Hybrid

MoomooDoodoo

MoomooDoodoo by Dino Party sounds like a cow having digestiv

THC 15-25%